Friday 29 July 2011

stealth, guile and cunning, concrete overshoes and a can of Iron Bru

The corporate sponsors have made a complaint that we have gone back to being a classic tale of suburban life sort of Adrian Mole but without the Coca-Cola, and that they would prefer a good swashbuckling tale than an everyday story of me a dog and a grumpy Ghost writer.

Lou Reed

Of course my diary is a diary and I have told the sponsors that because it’s a diary I write what happens to me, but they insist I should lie a bit because that’s what they do. Well that’s a bit of a shock I would have never thought that a large multinational business would lie even a bit when it is advertising its product. Mum said IDIOT when I said that, and the dog. Dad recons we should do rude gestures at them because the dog has stopped drinking Coca Cola, none of us drink it now and dad is only using it now to polish Rusty the Robot Dog.  The dog thinks we should change allegiance to Iron Bru instead or Aberdeen Morning Rolls, me and the dog would like that we can not understand why we can’t get them south of Peterhead, or 400 miles north of us. NOT FAIR.

The Italians who were interested in buying mum and dad’s quirky house have turned up again, but this time they are very keen to offer us concrete overshoes as a gift to help the transaction progress. Dad and the dog said they would attack then with the flame thrower but mum thinks its not a good move. Ironically a good move is what we would like to do. Mum and dad say it is a lovely quirky strange house and garden but they fancy somewhere where they can chill, and people don’t arrive through the walls with a large axe and sea chests full of gold.

I will get to meet the Italians tomorrow and psychoanalyse then using stealth, guile and cunning. Mum said IDIOT again. The Italians apparently have only recently got to the UK and were delayed as they had business to attend to (the dog has added to that nudge nudge wink wink say no more).

I spent most of the day moving large paintings about by Mr Dave Whiley who is a very clever man and one of our favourite artists in readiness for tomorrow evenings preview so am well tired now.

The Blogs gone very quiet again what’s happening there then?         

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