Tuesday, 2 February 2016

. A Scientific theory for the unobserved universe . . . The Universal Theory of Voids

We all know the universe is a large place as in a WOW that is big sort of way. And we all know that it is far more complex that even the best scientists and mathematicians have worked out to date.  And so I would like to add my own observations to the continuing debate about exactly what is the universe all about and how does it work.  To do this I would like everyone to consider some very simple and what a first glance may appear silly logic and thoughts, but there is reason in my madness.

I'm sure if I was to say hands up all those who have lost a pen or pencil in their life and never ever found it again almost everyone would put at least one hand up or more. This observation was even used in the book The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Universe so it is a common problem.  Now consider how often you find stuff down behind the cushions of chairs and sofas that may have been there for years. . . If you don’t believe me and you have an old sofa go and look, it could be something mancky or something valuable but it will be there.

We are often told 80% of the human body is water and recently I heard that something like half a human being is in fact bacteria and other organisms and not in fact us. Well where is all this water and stuff inside us, plainly not somewhere it can be seen with ease. We are also told by science that something like 90 to 95% of the universe can not be seen and no one knows what it is and some of it is know as Dark Matter. Note I say some because much of it is stuff that has yet to be even given a name.

And this brings me to my new theory called . . . The Universal Theory of Voids. As we know the Universe looks linear but as we also know from Einstein time and space are curved, distorted by the gravitational forces of large objects such as stars Black holes and planets.  But what if space is more distorted than we think creating hidden voids in its fabric, much like those spaces in the back of the sofa. Well then hidden within these will be all that missing material, probably all covered in dust and mancky things. It might be that the universe is so wrinkled that most of the universe could easily be hidden from view within its infinite voids. Or which to me seems a bit worse, we might be in a void and our vision of the universe is only the stuff that has slipped behind a cushion of the universal sofa.

So there you have it my theory . . . The Universal Theory of Voids. . .  I could get all scientific about this but this is not the place for that . . . . But I hope when Science thinks Hey that Rob Z Tobor has a point they do not rip off my theory and rename it something like . . .  The Sofa Paradox . . .  and say they thought of it. I will tweet that Professor Brian Cox.  Now he is a clever man and will give this some thought. 


  1. I like this theory.

    I like it a lot!

    The universe makes a bit more sense when you think about us being the equivalent of a 5 pence piece or pen lid, lost down the back the sofa...

    I know first hand that scientists are more than happy to nick bloogers ideas and if they do steal your theory and change it's name to THE SOFA PARADOX I hope they will face..... REAPER-CUSHIONS hahahahahaha...

    (I have holding on to that gag for 16 years!)

    1. Thanks Mr H, man has always over valued itself as a species and thinking of the entirety of mankind as just a lost 5p down the back of a sofa, dropped by God accidental might put things into focus a bit. Maybe in our own cases we are both 50 pence's in Gods piggy bank on his mantelshelf. Not sure where that Miss lily is at present maybe she has fallen into a small void and is shouting stuff at folk from inside grannies comfy chair.

      REAPER-CUSHIONS . . . . . .very grim . . .HAH ah ah ah ahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      I had to think about that for a few seconds . . clever Mr H

  2. Hi human, Rob,

    My goodness, your pawsting is most assuredly, not null or void. I would not avoid your thoughts on void.

    Pawhaps, this comment by me, yes me, the pawblishing dog, is not really happening.

    An intriguing, provocative pawst. You should get some sort of prize, I reckon.

    All the beast, human, all the beast...


    1. Good to see you Penny as always. As a dog I suspect you always wonder where all the bones go. They are Skull-King in dark cupboards HAHAH Hah ah ah ah ah ah ah hah ah ah ah a hahha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  3. Good theory. Can you perhaps explain where all the wire coat hangers come from in my wardrobe? I don't remember buying any but there are loads.

    1. Well Hello long time no see. I thought you had run off into the real world to do exciting and real things. But it is nice to see you back.

      Wire Coat Hangers are rather useful things but to my knowledge the only place that still uses them are Dry Cleaners. . . Maybe you secretly visit dry cleaners.