Well as politics slides
back towards the status quo with many politicians saying things like. . . .NO NO NO we never said Yes what we meant was
we will consider the options in the fullness of time . . . it is time for me to turn my attention away
from such issues and back towards the bigger questions of the day. After all as
one of the new breed of professional bloggers it is important to duck and dive
and be first with those stories that others have not yet noticed. One thing I have noticed in my role as a
professional blogger is I'm not actually earning any money at present, it
appears the career of a Professional Blogger is one based on endorsements and promoting
products and straightforward advertising. I don't do any of this as I can’t
see the point of saying for example . . . THE THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1
BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is the best thing since sliced
bread when everyone knows I have been paid a lot of money to do so. I am told you can eat sliced bread and even
toast it with the new device but I have yet to try.
Anyway all this is a
distraction from what is the bigger picture, the big question as I have sort of
already mentioned in a roundabout sort of way. And I can tell you are keen to
finally know what the big issue on the lips of those in the know is. . . . . .
. Well . . . . . . . And its an
important question with all sorts of ramifications for the future that can't be understated
too strongly (I suspect that’s not quite right, but it sounds good).
OK yes I can hear you all
typing loudly get on with it you IDIOT so without ado (what is an ado because
we often do things without ado but seldom with ado) tonight’s important
Question is
Can Zombies Ride Bicycles.
. . . . . . .
Well I appear to have written
more than enough on this subject tonight so I feel it will be better to return
to it in . . . . Can Zombies Ride
Bicycles. . . . . . . . (PART 2). . .
Where the key points will be discussed, so if you have a point of view
or have seen Zombies riding bicycles this is your chance to get involved. . . .
Having read the title to the Lil man, an argument then ensued in which I pointed out that it would be impossible for a zombie to ride a bicycle; as due to the fact that they are dead and therefore decaying, their limbs fall off as they attempted to peddle.
ReplyDeleteMy child then called me a Zombie racist and accused me of stereotyping the undead by placing them all in the same category...ie dead. To which I replied, "get out of my room you freak!" True story.
Although I agree that Zombies are all dead, I also have to say there is a bit of Stereotyping (I should type that twice HAH AH HAHAH HAh ah ah ah ha ha hah ah ah aha ha ha) going on. You see Zombies do a lot of walking and you do need good legs to walk, if they fell off them the so called Zombie Apocalypse would never happen as they would fall apart after the first three of four steps.
DeleteI will discuss the issue more in PART 2 but the key point is balance you need to think can a Zombie balance or would he need stabilizers. The problem with stabilizers is the Zombie would lose all street cred and folk would laugh. . . . . Never laugh at a Zombie....
OK time for me to head off and sleep. . . And say hello to the Lil man.
I checked and Apocalypse Now and Apocalypse Noun are two completely different movies. Well, not completely different, they are both the same length of time.
DeleteWhy don't Zombies ride bicycles when drunk?
ReplyDeleteBecause they ........ (wait for it)...... HANDLE BARS!!!!!
handle bars.... bars like where you get drunk in... and .... it also sounds like the handle bars on a bike!
I made that joke up myself.
I am very sorry...... hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
ps- I have recently discovered that THE THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is not water proof and should not be left out in the rain over night... Damn!
DeleteHandle Bars . . . . Thats good I am going to go and lie in bed and spend the night thinking of a Zombie response.
DeleteDAMN I took my THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) into the bath with me to attack the duck.
I didn't see a question mark in the blog title so I was thinking either, zombies in a can, answer No, or Can = Canadian, answer possibly Yes. So I asked Siri, and found bicycle products with Zombie in the name.
ReplyDeleteIf Scotland can't be free, then maybe the country of Zambia should vote to change their name to Zombia. I think it vvould increase their tourism business.
I agree Zombia would increase the tourist trade by loads. And I suspect Canned Zombie would sell rather well too.
Delete