One of the things about being a part time
teacher and also a pupil at our rather grand modern academy, OK I say grand it
has a grand facade on the main entrance, but that is a distraction; back to the
point. At present school is like a spy movie, I am a bit like Sir Alec Guinness
in Tinker Tailor Teacher Spy, if I walk into the teacher’s recreation room for
a hot chocolate all the teachers stare at me and go silent. Some of them have
been saying that specializing in Obscure Irrational Theories and Zombie Defence
Classes are not real subjects, although I did upset the Media Studies teacher
when I said Media Studies was even more useless that my subjects. And now I am
starting to get the feeling that I may be being watched as I am seeing shadows
lurking in corners and doorways.
In order to get into the
full spy film feel I have put bugs in the headmasters office, mainly crane
flies (Daddy Long Legs) as there are loads of them hiding in the hedge rows and
playing dead in our house, when I say playing dead I mean dead but I was breaking
the news to you gently. Which reminds me, this morning when I got up there was
a tiny little bat on the carpet in our library (yes we have a library which
sounds posh, but it is not really), the little bat was also playing dead rather
well (again I am breaking the bad new to you gently) . . . . . . . it was dead. I don’t know how it got into the house or what
happened to it, but some of the pupils at today’s Zombie Defence Class this
afternoon said it might have been a remote control Vampire bat sent to spy on
me by the Media Studies teacher who is probably a Zombie and that they will
test their defence moves on him in class tomorrow. So all that had actually
happened was the batteries had gone flat…… So best to think of the little beast
as a Spy-bat with flat batteries rather than a cute little furry bat that is dead…….
It’s a tough cruel world, I’m glad I have my trusty pointy stick……..
Surely spy movies are meant to have moles in them, not bats and media study teachers.
.
Um bugging the headmaster's office is a sure fire way of getting into the spy movie ambience. I reckon you be in the movie, "The Fly Who Loved Me." Hahahahahahahahahahaha and Ha....
ReplyDeleteI am still working on the theory that these film producers will be forming a queue to make The diary Rob Z Tobor, but there have been a lot of flies about this summer so they may have to be added.
DeleteGood job on bugging that office. Now you have to tap all of the phones. I'm not sure if you have to lightly rap them with your finger, or run them under a fawcett, but you'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteYou are right I may put them in the sink and use the hot tap.
DeleteI watched The Ipcress File last night, best spy film ever.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a good film.
DeleteI am of the opinion that any number of books greater than or equal to one constitutes a library. I had a rather large preying mantis in my house for a few days but I have not seen it lately. I kept having to have it crawl back on my hand then I would return it to the indoors pineapple plantation.
ReplyDeleteI wish we had Praying Mantis here, but we do have a Praying Man or as he is known the vicar.
DeleteOoooo I did try to send an email back the other day but it said your email did not exist . . . . I will give it another go soon, it was not devastating just saying hello how are things etc.