I have spent much of the day pottering
about doing little jobs here and there, but nothing interesting or of any great
devastating news. This happens from time to time or should I say quite a lot
and is probably one of the main reasons why folk are not generally great at
writing diaries. But I am a persistent chap which is why the very nice Mr
Steven Spielberg took out the injunction to keep me away, all that talk of I
have the wrong man and wearing a huge false nose and pretending to be a
greengrocer in Potters Bar, he cant fool me with his cunning ways.
Now as I was saying it is not easy to write
a daily diary if you are an ordinary sort of chap like myself, after all we are
seldom attacked by Zombies, Mr Jones has not seen a Alien space craft in weeks,
the creatures of the woods are preparing for winter and howling a bit. The
pheasants are still oblivious of the fact folk will come and shot at them,
despite me telling them and trying to stop them running up to humans, smiling
and asking for some grain….. They are stupid birds that’s for sure. Dad has dismantled the weather machine looking
for a fault and the dog is still in the Vatican
teaching maths and Latin to seabirds.
So what did I do today,
well I made a special pointy stick designed to help remove apples from a rather
large and very old (a really old as in seriously old) apple tree. It is a big
apple tree so a special pointy stick sort of helps. OOOooooo yes a word of
advice do not stand under the branch you are shaking with the pointy stick
while you are actually shaking it. I bet that Isaac Newt-Man would have changed
his ideas a bit if he was attacked by a large swarm of apples hell bent on
causing harm to his head…
And as well as apples
falling, so are the leaves so our effigy of Jannugras the Micro God of Autumnal
events is in position and ready for his offerings, in fact we are off tomorrow
to the big village feast to celebrate the arrival of Autumnal events and the
Autumn Micro Gods…
Ooooo I heard a man
shouting today, he may have thought a large chicken was a Zombie, it is easily
done in the Autumn evening light. I have noticed Zombies do walk a bit like
chickens.
I'm constantly walking around thinking chickens are zombies, so I feel his pain. I don't know what it is about them, I think it's the eyes...
ReplyDeleteYou are right about the eyes. I wonder if Kentucky Fried Zombie would sell well..
DeletePerhaps the chicken was a zombie that had been tarred and feathered.
ReplyDelete