Friday, 29 March 2013

The Definitive History of Good Friday and Everything.

It is Good Friday today and I have to say I am a little puzzled by all this because although I am not a religious eccentric child of cyberspace I do know it was not the best day for Jesus (that’s Jesus as in THE Jesus and not Jesus as in Mr ESB’s friend in the diner in Texas).  So there must be an explanation as to why it is good. And bearing in mind it was not a good day in religious terms it is time to ponder other reasons why it might be good.  One lucky coincidence is that Good Friday is a national holiday in a huge number of countries which gives those who are religious the opportunity to go to church, if it was a normal working day (OK it is these days for many) it would be tricky. And it gives us in the west an opportunity to eat loads of chocolate in the shape of eggs and rabbits, although this is good it is also confusing, because I do know that rabbits don’t lay eggs. Ducks lay eggs but you seldom see a chocolate duck, although you might duck if someone throws an egg at you which would not be good.

 We could ask ourselves the old question . . . . . . . . which came first the rabbit or the egg, but that might confuse things even more so what is all this all about, why do we need to know and even more worrying why have I not got any Easter Eggs this year.

OK it appears we have overlapping stuff going on and history dictates that events of importance that are commemorated each year will over long periods of time be subject to clustering. So important pre Christian events and important Christian events will cluster to end up on the same day (its far more practical), thus the fertility rites of the ancient Celts leaping about in the early spring waving eggs, rabbits and hares about and the religious events of Easter end up on the same day, even if they originally were not. Then it all gets confused and no one can remember which bit of which ceremony is connected to which, resulting in loads of folk getting angry when they see chocolate Popes for sale and Druids being chased out of IKEA.

So there you have it Good Friday is an anomaly of Historic events from the Christian religions of relatively modern history right back to the old rituals of pre history, and spring is the start of the warm weather (well it should be) in the northern hemisphere, add some dodgy translation over time as a few re writes of both historic and religious books and the odd tweek  to stuff to suit the powers that be and you are left with only one certainty in life, The diary of Rob Z Tobor the definitive history of everything in the year 2525. 



  1. Ishtar (pronounced Easter) is the goddess of fertility scrambled eggs and lucky rabbits feet.
    or something like that.
    Its where we get the holiday from as with most Christian holidays the like its been "borrowed" from older religions...
    Here is a wiki page that I have not read fully but should confirm what I have said.

    1. ooh, just read a bit of it and it turns out that she is the Goddess of Prostitutes ... so um.. happy holidays?????

    2. It just goes to show Mr H this whole thing is full of dodgy pitfalls that are best not exploded (sorry explored). It makes my point of clustering very well and proves that the best way to avoid everyone celebrating a goddess of naughty things (this is/was a child friendly blog) is to have the Pope saying loads in Latin. Well that and a good sale at IKEA.

      Many thanks for your research, I will mention you when I win the Nobel Prize for Literature towards world peace.

  2. Ah and Good Friday must lead to Bad Saturday. I'm about to have a chocolate cock, I meant, chocolate chicken.

    Not one to duck the issue, but this was sort of a fowl posting. Right, I have no idea what I'm talking about. However, getting close to four in the morning, I should get bonus points or at least a gosh darn yee haa....

    1. Hello good sir, now I do run a child friendly blog and I need to point out to children if you are reading that a male chicken is called a cock. And they wake up very early in the morning on the small holding behind our house and make a lot of noise. And as we all know no one likes a noisy Cock (Cockerel).

      Strangely I have other readers of my blog who are up late into the night/morning. I am putting this down to the excitement of my blog and a desire to read loads of it.

    2. You also have international readers (like me) who are offset by several hours.

    3. I find I am often offset by several hours Mr ESB, in fact here in Britain we move our clocks forward an hour tonight resulting in a shorter day. I hate having a short day it is like jet lag without moving.

  3. Applying a little algebra:

    1 = Good Friday

    Use the Deflate function to remove air from the right side of the equation:

    1/air = Good Fdy

    Perform Demon Duck exorcism, divide by dd:
    1/(air x dd) = Goo Fy

    Use vacuum pump to remove space:

    1/(air x dd) = GooFy

    1. So I think that means that Good Friday divided by GooFy would result in the exorcism of a Demonic Duck (maybe Daffy Duck, he's fairly demonic) in the open air. As this is Easter I would assume this would need to be carried out by a vicar or a priest, and may not go down well in certain religious communities.

      I would therefore recommend that it may be best to keep all Disney characters hidden until Easter is over.