It was 3 degrees C again today, I
mention this now because it has been this temperature for almost a year now (OK
I know, but it feels like it has), right back to today, and it has happened
again today, it has been quiet. The school survey at the shopping centre was
far more successful than last time when there was a bit of a stampede when some
of the school pupils, I think sort of got confused with Zombies and Freddie’s
ferrets went walkabout. I can hear newish readers of my diary thinking when did
that happen and to tell the truth I can’t remember it was a long time ago. If
you are watching the block buster movie made by that nice Steven Spielberg and
it has not happened yet then rest assured I will have complained loads that he
has cut out another good bit, just because the film was 15 hours long. I know that seems like a long time but that
Lords of the Rings trilogy is long and nothing actually happens in that, where
as loads happens in my film . . . . the
film of me, I mean (films).
Anyway there we
were in the shopping centre today going down in the lift (me Freddie and his
Ferret) when someone hits the alarm, and it was not me Freddie or his ferret,
but everyone on the lift looked at me that is not fair. Then when we get out a
woman with a pram, who was in the lift and who pressed the alarm runs off
shouting LOOK OUT ITS HIM AGAIN., I don’t know who she was referring too
because me and Freddie saw no one except a load of shoppers. And then when we
approached the shoppers to do our survey they kept hiding in the toilets or
running into Pound
Land and
similar places where Freddie and I will not venture into anymore as they are
frequented by strangely mad gangs of little old ladies who Freddie thinks are
the Zombies Grannies. I agree with that; after all Zombies must have grannies
too, well most of them, I know the Steam Powered Zombies that dad makes don’t
have grannies unless you include dad and he objects to being called Granny even
by a Zombie.
The result of
this was after several hours Freddie and I had only surveyed one person, I say
person it was Freddie’s ferret and it said it was too busy really to do a
survey, so sort of ate most of the answer sheet, and then signed it Elvis
Presley so when the teacher queried it Freddie had to explain it was not really
Elvis but a ferret and we got a zero percent mark.
DAMN I was
hoping to write something about science today and now look what happened, but
it just goes to show you should never put Elvis Presley and a ferret in a
shopping centre at the same time. Mum has just said IDIOT, not sure if she
means me Elvis or the ferret.
Apparently 15%
of all shoppers hate escalators and 2% think seagulls should not be allowed in
shoe shops . . . . . . . and one hundred percent of both might be Elvis.
.
.
I think it would be fun if you got some (live) escargo, oops, I mean escargot, and put it on an escalator that was stopped (temporarily by you) and then you verbaLLy command your cargo of escargot to "GO!!!" - and behind the scenes a loyal henchman, henwoman, or weLL trained and obedient henchanimal pushed the button GO of the escalator escargot cargo - and the crowds were amazed because not only is the escalator now later going but the escargot is going up even faster - escargotescalatorcargoacceleration. Until someone jealous stole it, then it would be escar-gone.
ReplyDelete:^(
dramatic pause
hahahahahahahahaha
;^)
I have something sneaky you could start doing when Mum says "IDIOT" - respond thinking that IDIOT must be a request to build (or buy) a word phrase, and respond questioningly,
Delete"Intelligence Demands Intelliegence Of Trees???"
Just semi-ran-dumb-ly pick 4 or 5 words for the letters I D I O & T, although I am kind of liking the idea of using the same I word twice as in my eXample. HAHAHAHA - I just noticed that I speLLed Intelligence wrong the second time, hahahahahaha - a lie lies in the veRy middle of my intelliegence.
So maybe
DeleteIdiosyncratic Drama's In Oily Trousers.
So that it still has a hint of IDIOT about it
Incredulous Deviance Of Individual Thoughts. <-- Cor, that took some working out. Some big words considering it's 10 minutes past bed time.
DeleteIndianapolis Drivers Invade Our Towns!
DeleteIt might be fun to go with rhymes and short words ...
In Do If Of Two which wiLL be totaLLy misunderstood as
Inn Due If Off To
I'm Done If OuT
DeleteIguana's Don't Invade Our Town.
Oooh, nice touch, an O and T from a single word! Now I wonder if there is one single long word in the English language that begins with the letter I, ends with a T, and has the letters D I and O in the middle in that order with at least one letter separating them, example: IxDxIxOxT
DeleteI think I found one:
DeleteInDisposItiOnisT
I think that would be a person who likes to indisposition things. If the "in" and the "dis" are double negatives cancelling each other, then it would be someone who positions things. ActuaLLy I didn't find that word, but made it up from the real word "indisposition". Indisparate times caLL for indisparate measures.
Oh, I found the perfect word!
DeleteInterDigItatiOnisT
Interdigitation means "an interlocking of parts by finger-like processes", fingers of one hand separated by fingers of the other. Again, I added the -ist suffix to mean a person who does this activity. So it could mean a person who looks for words with certain letter spacings.
That's good Mr ESB it can now be used on unsuspecting blogs where we disagree with them or in passing conversation with your friends at the diner. The best I found was InDIssOlubiliTy so if you say
DeleteInterDigItatiOnisT
the response would be
InDIssOlubiliTy
Meaning IDIOT Why?
And people say the English language is hard to understand....
What?!?!?
Delete(Hahahahahahahahahahaha)
Brand new follower here, as an A to Z co-host, so: nice to meet you, Rob!
ReplyDeleteWelcome I am always happy to see a new face although the one thing this blog does not do is show peoples faces when they comment but I'm sure you know what I mean.
DeleteI record the daily happening of life in a slightly unusual way but everyone gets the hang of it fairly quickly. Well either that or they run off confused and screaming.
Good luck as a co-host there are loads of blogs in this A to Z and I think it looks like ending up near the 2000 mark again.
I do like to think I have a rather unique way of doing it, so I look forward to it with interest.