Wednesday, 21 October 2015

The Exponential Time Curve of DIY, Lists & Zombies

So what did I do today well not a lot I did manage to clean up the last window in the Kitchen, which has been lingering about as a job to do for some time now.  I have over time come to realize that working on the house you actually live in has its own issues that need to be taken into account.  One of the more important of these is the completion of the task, OK it sounds dead easy, but it is not. You see you start off all keen and enthusiastic and the job skips along like a kangaroo chasing a porcupine on a skateboard, but the nearer you get to completion the slower you work. Eventually you will come to a grinding halt although it can be difficult to judge at what point this will happen; with luck it will be with something tiny left to do that folk will not notice. 

Now some of you will be thinking OOOOoooooo no I would never do that, but anyone who does any DIY on their own home, which here in Britain is loads of folk will know this is a universal truth.  I am sure that there is a wise old Chinese saying from back in time that says something like. . . . . No man should ever completely finish working on his own home if he wishes to remain happy. . .  It is a wise if sexist saying, but back then old Chinese sayings could be a bit like that, lets face it political correctness is not something history is abundant in.

However in respect to completing the work in the kitchen this was the last awkward little job to get done and it is all chilled from now on with only a few tiny wafer thin bits left to do which based on the Exponential Time Curve of DIY (that’s Do It Yourself if this is a term not used outside of Britain).  So in a mere 15 years it will all be done. However there are loads of other jobs to do I have a list which was given to myself and our friendly builder Chris. Although Chris the friendly builder was given his own list by his wife so he is a bit busy at present, well up to the point he has almost finished then he will be back. We have a project to start in the garden building a Welsh Chapel lookalike Summerhouse and bolthole to escape from passing Zombies.   Zombies avoid Welsh Chapels because they will say. . . It is full of Hymn. . . . . HA HAH ahah ah ah a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah a hah  

Talking of which I still have to write my all new Halloween tale of an old witch from a strange Kingdom where celebrating Halloween was banned until one year when . . . . . . OK that is enough of a hint for now. . . . . Exciting isn’t it . . . AH DAMN

And a bit of Poetry to keep you happy

The strange world of twitter
Is full of bits of litter

Jumbled words in a few short lines
From the jumbled heads of jumbled minds

Where has the Tarra-gone
It’s been missing for some Thyme
It ran off to Coriander
Having heard the Garlic had been crushed
And the Chives all chopped up Fine. 


  1. Who was on the skateboard, the kangaroo or the porcupine?

    I am not sure what Coriander tastes like, but it is a minor ingredient in a beer I will soon be brewing as a birthday present for someone.

    1. Hello Mr ESB, that is a good question I am assuming the porcupine is on the skateboard although a kangaroo would be better at using a skateboard maybe?

      I suspect you like making beer as it would appeal to your inner chemist.

    2. I like your 'Inner Chemist' words. I have a couple people now that would like to have me teach them, which is remarkably hilarious as that was my very first batch. Perhaps I can incorporate your words into a slogan on a shirt.

    3. As in

      Release Your Inner Chemist
      Make Beer

  2. You could build two Chapels for the sexes. One for Hymn and one for Her...well it was funny in my head...

    1. No that is Funny Miss Lily and its OK I wont get Cross

      HAH AH AHAH AH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    2. But funny in the head is good, too.