Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Its Christmas Eve . . .A time of more repeats on the tele and cyberspace

Here we are on Christmas Eve
When Santa he rolls up his sleeve
And checks the sleigh
The reindeer too
So many things he has to do
And if he’s hungry he eats an Elf
And checks the presents on the shelf
And gets his coat out
And cleans his boots
And . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hang on a bit . . . EATS an ELF

 What is going on here then no one told me Santa eats Elves that’s not nice. All that Ho Ho Ho smiling and being friendly and underneath the Mr Nice Guy exterior is an Elf Eater…. Well if that’s the case it is time to do something about it.

No wonder Santa keeps singing that jingle  . . . . . .An Elf a Day helps your Work, Rest and Sleigh . . . . and complaining about plagiarism   

So to save the Elves . . . . . Christmas is now officially BANNED ... Sorry everyone but it’s the only way.


  1. Those poor Elves. Not only are they forced into slave labour in the weeks coming up to Christmas and contracted to take part in those films about rings and pesky flies, now they are subjected t the cannibalistic urges of a stalker who likes to watch people when they are sleeping and knows when they're awake. It's all too much I tell you. All too much!

    1. Its no wonder the Elves have all developed dodgy Hobbit's (sorry Habits)

      Its a bit of a coincidence the Baby Jesus and Santa turning up on the same night. . . .

  2. I suddenly envisioned the scene slightly modified from the movie Forrest Gump, Bubba: "Anyway, like I was sayin', elf is the fruit of the North Pole. You can barbecue elf, boil elf, broil elf, bake elf, saute elf. Dey's uh, elf- kabobs, elf creole, elf gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple elf, lemon elf, coconut elf, pepper elf, elf soup, elf stew, elf salad, elf and potatoes, elf burger, elf sandwich. That- that's about it."

    1. Well that is a very healthy (elfy . . . . ) diet

      haa hah ahah ahah hahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .