Saturday, 1 November 2014
(Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) or Harry Potter Returns from the Dead. . . . PART ONE
After the terrible death of Harry Potter and all the young wizards on Halloween and the subsequent closure of Hogwarts and its brief commercial success as a theme park it vanished from the minds of men and quietly became a ruin. No one ventured to it as there was talk of terrible beasts and monsters that roamed it's corridors their footsteps echoing through the building. It was a bad time to be a wizard and those few who survived those terrible events of Halloween were forced into the everyday world of muggles, something they hated, but as the old saying goes . . . . . needs must. . . . . (I know old sayings are silly we just don't know what the needs must do, but it’s a saying).
One such wizard was a Professor Brian Dumblecox who had managed to make a successful career in the sciences of us muggles and became a bit of a celebrity turning everyday objects into stuff that just confused folk using what he called Quantum Mechanics. We all know he really meant Wizards Magic we are not stupid are we?.
One day Professor Brian Dumblecox’s young son called Higgs was rummaging about in a strange old bookshop only accessible by walking between the walls of M&S and W H Smiths when he came across a book called, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Having bought the book with his pocket money five pence Young Higgs returned home where his father Professor Brian Dumblecox looked and nodded in a knowing way and pointed to the map of the universe on the wall and said
Its time Master Higgs, you have discovered the bookshop.
Yes dad I DON'T know how I got there I was going to W H Smiths.
We live in a multi-dimensional world Master Higgs and you have entered the world of Wizards.
But you said it was Quantum Mechanics dad I watched you on the television.
No son that is just a cunning trick to confuse muggles, we are talking about the world of wizards and you now have to go and fulfil your destiny.
But I’M too young to go on X factor.
NOOOO Not X Factor
And I have only had three dancing lessons, I don’t think I’m good enough for Strictly yet.
O for Gods sake Master Higgs you have to go and restore the Great Harry Potter to Life, Back at Hogwarts where he will become Headmaster and make more films.
WOW like Frankenstein’s Monster with lighting and a bolt through his Neck.
Look son I'm getting angry if you don’t behave I’ll play one of my Albums.
Now here is a large Jug with a mummified cat in and a jar of ash from the Wizards Ring of Fire where Harry and the other wizards died you must go now and enter the ruins of Hogwarts where you will discover what you need to do.
With that Young Higgs set off on his intrepid journey with his new book and a ticket for the train, a large jug with a mummified cat and a jar of ash.
He took one last look at the house as he set off down the street his dad shouting after him. . . AND beware the Wicker Man. . . . Young Higgs gave him the thumbs up and thought to himself. . . Don’t stare at the vicars van. . . How odd.
TO BE CONTINUED