Sunday, 2 November 2014

(Alice Through the Looking Glass) or Harry Potter Returns from the Dead. . . . PART TWO

As young Higgs enters Kings Cross Station he is confronted by a large crowd looking at the arrivals/departure board and complaining. It appears that it is a bad time of year for trains and the track is presently covered in the wrong sort of leaves.  But he does know that he needs to head of towards platform 9¾ (well lets face it Harry Potter and his mates let slip enough times in films so it is hardly a secret) where he is expected to run at a wall.  As he ponders this; no one in their right mind runs at walls without a bit of thinking, he hears a voice behind him shouting

I say you with the mummified cat in the glass jug I do hope you don’t plan to run at that wall

Well I was thinking about it

Well I WOULDN'T because it’s been bricked up after all those children started running at it all the time

As Young Higgs turned round he was confronted by a girl with long hair wearing Victorian clothing, a large white rabbit with a pocket watch and identical twins complaining about the wrong kind of leaves.

Well if IT’S bricked up where do I catch the TRAIN?

The ladies toilets


Yes the mirror in the ladies toilet, you need to pass through the looking glass.


Come on, the flamingos will distract the masses for a bit and we can catch the train   


With that a huge flock of flamingos started running up and down the platforms of Kings Cross Station and the small and rather diverse group of travellers vanished down into the ladies toilets and clambered though the looking glass (mirror). Where Young Higgs found himself standing next to the Hogwarts Express alone in a haze of steam and smoke.  A rather startled Station Master looked at him , stared at his ticket and after a moment said

Well it’s been a long time since anyone turned up for this train

Where are the others said young Higgs


A Victorian girl called Alice, A large white rabbit and grumbling identical twins

Ooooo no one here that looks like that sir, Time to board . . . .  you may as well go first class as you are the only passenger.

Confused Higgs enters a rather nice compartment in first class an settles down.  As he does Alice, the White Rabbit and the Twins all emerge from the luggage rack.

WHAT said Young Higgs

We don’t have tickets so we hid, And besides we are entirely in the wrong story anyway because we are on the run from the Wicked Witch of the West and have been pursued by a large ticking crocodile for ages. It really is rather annoying.

It all seemed a bit odd to young Higgs, particularly when a large flock of pink flamingos ran past heading towards the refreshment carriage 

As the steam from the engine passed the window and the gently rhythm of the wheels on the track slowly sent them all of to sleep they knew that ahead lay adventure and exciting wizard stuff and possibly more flamingos.  

To be Continued



  1. Let me see if I am partiaLLy confused. When you say in the blog post title that Harry returns from the dead part one and part two, does that mean only part of him comes alive and the other part(s) are still dead until the neXt blog post? That is what I would classify as a semi-zombie, or maybe, Zombie-in-Zones, yes, I like the double Z'd word combination. Perhaps I am just drinking too much ice water, or I am suffering from the sight of watching a penguin get tickled and hearing the strange noises that it made in response. It appears that penguins do not like to get tickled. I noticed that it scurried about after getting tickled flapping its little wings, and after reading some nuclear fission studies last night, I thought about how penguins are kinda bunched together tightly in a large mass, and if you tickled enough penguins in a critical mass then it would set off a chain reaction leading to a huge amount of noise that might render the penguins deaf. Deafness through tickling, who would have thought it possible.

    1. Zoned Zombieism is a whole new idea one that should be investigated by Detective Higg's Bograndson me thinks.

      Deaf penguins as a result of mass tickling I suspect (pecked HAH AH AH HA AH H AH HA Ha) is an old problem and one they have now solved through the process of evolution.

    2. (Lack of hearing joke hahahahaha)

    3. Q: When is the best time of day to go to the dentist?

      A: Before 2:30 (tooth hurt-y)

      8:30 would be the time after a huge meal was consumed (ate hurt-y)

    4. :). . . . I eat therefore Im Ham

  2. This reminds me of the comic series Fables where all of the fables mash up and live in close quarters. Though I do feel a bit behind on this as I never read/watched any of the Harry series.

    1. I am not entirely sure if knowing anything about Harry will help much with my terrible efforts at writing a rather odd Harry based parody. I never was any good at English at School as a subject.

  3. Sorry Mr Z, I'm a bit late to the party. My blogs keep going walkabouts. Tis witchcraft I fear...or just Blogger needing to sort themselves out. Enjoying the mash-up of characters from different novels.

    1. It is me being rebellious as the idea seems less popular with the masses and they are not turning up. Being a rebel means I will just do even more of it and go YA SUCKS BOO a bit.

      I wonder why us humans have a rebellious streak I can see a big question of the future in that once I get Harry back on his feet and smiling (Ok just back on his feet, he was never great at smiling).

  4. Me again... I am going to bypass commenting on part and move straight onto part three... not because I didn't enjoy it (I did enjoy it) but because part two has a bit of pace to it and want to keep that going! See you over there!