Tuesday, 9 September 2014

The Queen, Scottish Devolution, Scotland, England and Royal Babies

It appears that here in Britain we are going to get another royal, only as yet we don't know exactly when and what sex it will be, and what they will be called, and which bit of Britain they will be given so they can say they are the Duke/Duchess of Hull or the like. I suspect it will not be a bit of Scotland though.  Which is a small point I have not heard a single person mention yet in respect to Scottish Devolution. Will the Queen (no the Queen is not called Will) still be the Queen of Scotland if they take the leap of faith and leap. I rather hope they do as a Scot, but us Scots have a habit of leaping into big muddy holes where folk jab at us with pointy sticks.

The Queen rather likes Scotland and she may even decide to abdicate from England and Wales and become Mary Queen of Scots, sorry I mean Elizabeth Queen of Scots. She is also rumoured to be a bit religiously inclined towards Catholicism and this would allow her to convert.

England would then have King Charles (Oooo go on vote yes Scotland) and as a Protestant and a bit outspoken he would probably attack his mum lock her in the tower and then have her sort of executed much like the original Mary Queen of Scots was by Elizabeth the First. . . . The world is full of such ironic twists. Scotland of course would shout and wave pointy sticks and head south raiding the north of England and steal all their fish and chips and Newcastle Brown and have a grand party. But get defeated the following day by the English before the Scots get a chance to recover their wits.

The whole affair finally getting sorted by the Director of Planning at the Cumbrian County Council a Mr Hadrian who builds a big wall.     

I have cleaned a lot of windows today but only on the one side, the Scottish side . . . that’s the outside because that’s the wettest side . . . HAH HAH AH Ah ah ha hah ah ha hah ah ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha hah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hhah ah ah haha hah ha.

And the English on the inside have nicked all the cosy chairs,  but luckily the oil tank is on the outside so AH HAH AH AH hah ah ah ha ha hah ha hah ah ha hah aha h aha ha YA SUCKS BO.

AH DAMN mum says I'm an IDIOT.  


  1. As far as I understand it (which isn't a lot) The Queen would still be Queen for the Scottish folks as they would be part of the Commonwealth like Jamaica, Fiji Sri Lanka and Australia and other countries where the weather is better and have nicer scenery and posh folks tend to go on holiday too.

    Maybe THAT is why Scotland wants to break away. They hope that they will become a tropical paradise!

    The crafty so-and-so's!

    1. I think you are on to something there Mr H. . .

      Sun Sand and Scotland. . .

  2. Poor Charles, it ain't never gonna happen. The Queen will live on like her mother, which is about another 130 years. By which time cloning would have been perfected and she will once again ascend the throne anew, via her doppelganger.

    My mumsy is a fan of the Royals, but even she was shouting at the TV for Kate to stop having babies, after This Morning ran a whole section on morning sickness. Morning sickness on This Morning...there's a joke in there somewhere.

    1. You are right I think there is a joke, it is due in several months time . . . . . .HAH AHHA hahah hah ah ha ha hha hhahah ahhaha hahaha ha . . . Only kidding the poor little mite can help being a royal it is the way the cards are stacked up. With luck he will be normal like me. . .HAH AH hah ah ah ah ah ahah ah h hah ah ah ahha ha ha hah ah ha.

    2. can is can't . . . . silly qwerty keyboard letting me down again. . . . I think it may be English

  3. If she is the Queen of Scotland is she also the Queen of Scotwater? Now I am wondering if I should change that to Scotsea or Scotocean.

    I wiLL teLL you a state joke, but then have to eXplain it.

    What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas.

    The word Arkansas is pronounced "are can saw". I didn't write this joke.

    1. I just saw the Queen of Scott Walker and so it all went a blur after that. . . I have heard that joke before it is like the one that goes

      Where would your wife like to go on holiday

      Alaska (I'll ask Her)

      HAH AH HA hah ah ah ha hh ahah ha hah ahha ha hahah ha ha ah ah ahah h hah ah ah ah a ha ha ha ha ha ha