Sunday, 14 September 2014

Scottish Independence (sorry I am doing my bit). . . Important Facts about Scotland.

It’s Sunday and I plan to bore you all silly once again with the great Scottish Independence YES NO vote due in just a few days. I know it’s terrible after nearly 300 years of little or no news about the strange goings on of the homeland, the damn place is all over the news like it is the most important thing happening in Scotland. . . .

So what are the facts about Scotland?

1 Well it has a population of about 5.2 million or just over, of which about 2.5 million are working or should be.

2 If you ignore oil for the moment its top exports appear to be Food and Drink. . .  I knew everyone liked deep fried Mars bars, Iron Bru and a Tunnock’s teacake.

3 Scotland already has its own Legal System separate to that in the rest of the UK

4 Scotland also has its own Education System

5 And to buy a house in Scotland is different to that in England.

6 Scotland has its own Sportsmen and teams who get to compete internationally for their home Country although not in the Olympics. Scotland also has its own Highland Games with things such as Goat Wresting and Grouse Bobbing.

7 It has its own language, dialects and customs that are a mystery to the rest of the world and many Scotsmen.

8 It has its own weather that is much wetter and wilder that England making many Scotsmen a bit grumpy.

9 It is a land of many mountains and moors. Ben Nevis being 1344m high when it has warmed up in the sun and the longest river is the River Tay 193km on a wet day.

10 And it has loads of History going back ages long before the Roman invasion of Britain in 1st century AD when the Romans had to build a wall to protect themselves as the Scots had pointy sticks and were very scary.

11 The motto of Scotland is “Nemo me impune lacessit”, or: "No one provokes me with impunity . . . . . . PAL “or its modern equivalent “Are You Looking at Me Pal

12 Scotland still has its own protected species of Underwater Monster that the English have tried to steal or discredit since 1545. . . . . . NO it’s ours so YA SUCKS BOOOO.

13 Scotland has the greatest sports fans in the world who will always chant the famous Scottish phrase “WE WAS ROBBED” after all matches or competitions when we lose right at the end.   

That last point is rather important, in fact it is very very important indeed because it is the one the Scots always forget every single time.  It is why it keeps happening and I can see it happening yet again. The English appear to be defeated and are sulking and wandering back home to London and the like. The Scots chasing them, waving their kilts in the air and throwing cans of Iron Bru and that Mr Cameron chap, laughing and sniggering as they pursue the English deep into England. Only to realize too late that they have not voted yet and they are now too far away to get to a polling station and then the NO Campaign wins by 52% to the yes vote of 48% . . . . The Scots having been tricked yet again . . . . . . .

All I can say is   WE WAS ROBBED.



  1. Very interesting facts Mr Z. You should write a book entitled "The Big Book Of Interesting Facts About Scotland, Which Details Interesting Facts About Scotland That Comes In The Form Of A Big Book." It'll be a sell out in Waterstone.

    1. I think you are on to something Miss Lily I may even consider The Pop Up Big Book Of Interesting Facts About Scotland. . . . I have had a thought that is even better The Pop Up Big Book Of Interesting Facts About Zombies and Other Stuff. . . . . I feel it is more me.

      And I suspect there may be much fighting and repercussions after the YES NO vote. I would rather fight Zombies than an angry Scotsman

  2. Pardon me, Mr. Tobor, a question in the back. In reference to number 6, are these sportsmen all adept at hurling large wooden poles the size of electricity poles? And in the process of doing so, do they paint their faces blue?

    1. Good question and the answer is YES and NO in that order. . . Although some chaps faces may turn a bit blue, those poles are heavy.

  3. I didn't know most of these facts. I am, sadly, an ignorant American. Although, I attended a Scottish fair last summer. Does that help? I'll be hiding in the corner if you need me.

    1. Scotland is a grand place and I'm sure the Scottish fair would have given a hint of its wonders. I am hoping the vote will show the world that in order to leap off and make your own way as an independent country you do not need to fight or have wars.

      I tend only to hide in corners at parties (thats friendly get togethers not political parties) . . . .Hang on I hide in corners from political parties too. It would appear I spend a lot of time hiding.

  4. Sharing this post with my daughter (3rd yr. of college) who was glued to the news on the election. Hind sight is 20/20 :)

    1. It seems a long time ago now, but Scotland will always be Scotland at least we can still blame the English at present when things go wrong. It is always good to see new visitors, this Blog is an acquired taste not helped by my bad typing and spelling. . .