Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Perpetual Motion Machines and Naked Charity Calendars analyzed . . .(PART 1)

As you all know in my new professional role as a professional blogger I am dealing with the great questions of modern life.  Now in the old days these questions would all be profound ones like. . . Is the world Round. . . .  Where can I find the perfect vegetable to create the chip butty. . . . What are those small wiggly things in that pond?  But most of these questions have long been answered and dealt with in great detail. So the big questions of today are a strange mix.

Having dealt succinctly with the issue of Zombies riding a bicycle I am moving on to two new Questions that arose as a result, as this is how my blog now progresses.  The first of these two questions is can you resolve the issues connected to perpetual energy and the creation therefore of the Perpetual Motion Machine. A device which has eluded the efforts of man for hundreds of years (until now or maybe PART 2).  The second question, and this is where the ways of modern life have changed what constitutes the big questions of the day. . . .Is. . . .  What has brought about the perpetual increase in nude charity calendars at Christmas?

 Some would say the issues thrown up by the two questions have little if any common ground but nothing could be further from the truth.  Both involve the desire to do something rather voyeuristic in its nature, lets face it most of us are unlikely to take our clothes off and appear on calendars (although the numbers appear to be growing). And the Perpetual Motion Machine is a rather voyeuristic device as it has to recycle all its energy and therefore is ultimately pointless, making it the greatest most useless invention in the entire universe.

But it does mean that the ultimate expression of voyeurism that anyone could express today would be as a naked Scientist depending entirely for any modesty on a Perpetual Motion Machine on a charity Calendar.   Now where is that Professor Brian Cox when you need him? Weirdly he turned up on Radio 4 this morning . . . . Well spooky, bearing in mind the timing of my drawing (Last Night)……  

Well as you can imagine I was left with a right old problem drawing that picture I don’t think the massed masses of the general public appreciate that sitting down with a bit of paper and a ballpoint pen at eleven o’clock in the evening for half an hour or so to draw a naked scientist and a Perpetual Motion Machine is harder than it looks.

I feel I need to deal with the technical detail of the Charity Nude Calendar in PART 2   

We sadly had to go to Fred’s Funeral today. . . . So Farewell Fred, A man of many talents who enjoyed a Bacon Butty.         


  1. Oh my goodness! That picture! I lily, am lost for words...well obviously not that lost, because I just wrote,"Oh my goodness! That picture! I lily, am lost for words. "

    By the way, you lost me at " Perpetual energy..." After that, I think my brain had a mini seizure.

    1. I'm afraid this is the future of charity calendars Miss Lily and also why you will never see me in one. There are fools and nude fools and I know which one I am. . . . .

    2. Rob, you should feel veRy badly for making Lily lose her words. She mentioned it twice, so possibly it was a loose instead of lose. I am just glad it wasn't a triple looose, that would have been like a medical condition, lose-yngitis.

  2. I sm sorry for your loss. To be Fredless is not a good thing. I had a co-worker named Fred once who was a great programming brain stormer, although he never actually wrote code, he was a good designer. Our friend Judie said we were interchangeable.

    I enjoy todays picture, I wiLL get it printed from my new laser jet printer that I just got setup yesterday. It will be hanging in my office for people to enjoy OR scare away, depending on the person.

    1. Fred was a nice bloke, and had done many things in his life and was basically a rather well educated and slightly maverick old and frail Hippy in a white suit. He was not a close friend but we have known his family for ages and he always came to the local village market and and a coffee and a bacon butty.

      As always feel free to use any images . . . . . . (Please Note Mr ESB has permission, So please ask first if you are not a member of RATs I will generally say say)

  3. I don't know why, but I missed this post first time round, so I am here now to read it properly and will be popping over to part two ......now!