Monday, 3 February 2014
Sticks. Parrots, Aliens and Astronauts
I was in a Tough Harry’s Supermarket today getting a few things I needed, none of us like these places but in order to live, we are now doomed to having to enter their vast corridors of stuff that confuses and bewilders folk. Particularly us chaps, we are not genetically designed to deal with shelves full of stuff, lets face it most chaps are not capable of putting a shelf up so as the old saying goes. . . . . . If man was meant to cope with shelves full of stuff, God would have made man capable of making shelves . . . . . .
But as I wandered up and down I came across a product that I thought was a piece of shear genius, one so brilliant I wish I had thought of it myself, it was a stick . . . . . . . . . . . OK yes, I can hear the long pause as you think . . . . . A STICK? . . . . . Not a useful pointy stick to poke at folk or Zombies, but a bit of branch from a tree, it even says a genuine natural branch made from wood on it. You see it is sold in the pet section and is aimed at the little old ladies who own Budgerigars; as birdcages general have plain old doweling. So in order to cheer their pet budgerigars or the like up some clever person is selling genuine looking branches of trees made out of the branches of trees, this is genius. There is an old saying that goes . . . . . . Money does not trees . . . . . Well it shows that in fact it does.
Tough Harry’s Supermarket does have one other thing going for it that would make selling these sticks easier, they have Sam the Parrot who can spot a little old lady one hundred yards away and will shout at her as she passes. . . Ooooo if only I had a really natural looking stick to sit on . . . . . Everyone round these parts loves Sam the Parrot and little old ladies are suckers for a sob story told by a parrot; anyway these sticks cost three pounds each and are a bargain at half the price (or do I mean twice)…….
Did you know that both Aliens and Astronaughts (sorry astronauts) keep complaining they need more space . . . . . . . . . AH AH H HAHHAH AH HA HAH HA HAH AH HAH AH Hha ha ha hahah ah ahahahahah ha ha aha ha . . . . WHAT? I hear you type again . . . . . .Well I was sat in a car earlier and only had a tiny scrap of paper and a dodgy pen so was rather limited in what I could draw, and a stick seemed a bit boring. . . . .