Oooooooo the world has suddenly woken up to
the fact that the world is due to end on the 21st December, well
golly gosh and not before time after all I have explained exactly what to
expect (cheese, gulls, aliens maybe a chicken and yod) but have the masses paid
any attention to my detailed analysis of the situation, no. Its really strange its almost as if they think
I am mad or something and just talking a whole load of rubbish.
I will admit I think I might be going a bit
mad, my spat of loosing things is not going well as I lost a key piece of paper
today it was the piece of paper with a secret code word on it, apparently if we
all shout this code word on the 21st Dec it will trigger a reaction
that will halt the End of the World but as I say I have sort of put it
somewhere safe. I am not sure where this safe place is but I am beginning to
think it must be a decent size because every day it appears to have more stuff
in it. The dog has said it is probably best not to tell the world that I have
sort of mislaid the piece of paper that would save everyone because they might
get a bit annoyed with me and shout a lot. Shout almost everything in fact
except the right word.
One of the great
frustrations of the last few days is that I appear to have lost more than I
have achieved. The dog has expanded this principle into his own theory on The
Great Apocalypse and thinks it will all come to an abrupt end not because of
Huge Cheese Slices, Space Gulls and Angry Aliens and just maybe a Chicken, but
as a result of me putting the world in a safe place. I have told the dog it
might be a good idea because if the world was in a safe place the aliens would
never find it and it would be safe, and even I could not loose something as big
as the World (I think).
We also think that Harry
the Cat might be in cahoots with the aliens because he has taken to watching us
from round corners, lurking in the shadows and just wagging his tail. Cats
wagging tails is not like dogs wagging tails, cats wagging tails is not good, this
can confuse a dog who will think the cat is happy and wants to play. So I think we all need to keep our eyes on
cats for a few days to make sure they are not part of The Apocalypse
I am told that another
telltale sign that the End is Nigh is scrambled cables, cables of a certain
length can pick up the oscillations that are emitted by encroaching doom and
will twist together for protection in the same way eels do and cows when being
stalked by rabbits (hang on that sounds wrong. This encyclopaedia might have
been cheap but its rubbish). Anyway I noticed evidence of this effect today and
have recorded the photographic evidence for you all to see.
.
cables getting twisted, cows being mentioned, missing words... This all starting to become far too real for me.
ReplyDeleteI hope the end of the world doesn't come on the 21st. I'm only half way through my book and really want to know what happens at the end. I could just skip to the last page at 11:55pm on the 20th, but its a choose your own adventure book and it wouldn't make any sense.
I have always believed a good word to use is FANAKAPAN!
It is my favourite word (but not favourite enough to be a password just incase any hackers are reading this)
Yes sadly I am not making this up about the paper Mr H, I really have lost a piece of paper with a rather important word on it. But I am not one to be completely stopped in my tracks, and to each problem there are more that one solution so I have a cunning plan as someone once said.
DeleteWhat you really should be reading is a book about the end of the world then just imagine as you reach the last page it really ends now that is interactive, you don't get that with a kindle thing.
Makes total sense to me. Well, except for the bit about the chicken. I'm pretty sure that it will be carpenter ants, not chickens that bring about the end of the world.
ReplyDeleteI will need to Google carpenter ants but they sound like handy beasts at making things. Or as I suspect unmaking things. As for the chicken, that was something I read on the internet apparently a chicken was laying eggs that predicted the end of the world.... It was just an ordinary chicken in other respects, but in many ways the chicken was not wrong because he got roasted...
DeleteI WOULD not speak so lightly of the end of the world. i have personally survived several such endings and i can assure you that these are no laughing matters. the last, reverbrated through space time and changed our world forever. the world was thrown out of sinc by a full minute. this for example changed the meaning of some words. for example, christian. the actual word was chicken. romans fed chickens to the lions and not christians. the poor old pope knows this and is in constant moral turmoil but all that will end on the twenty first when this end will shift time back to where it should have been and christianity as we know it will coincided once again with the facts. there is oftem much good in ends of worlds.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean that Christians will become chickens and that the Pope will in fact be a cockerel. I can see that the Pope would not find that prospect one to look forward too. However I am still holding to the view that intergalactic cheese slices are due followed by space gulls and then aliens. Maybe if you are also right rather than destroy as all, the aliens will turn us into chickens where we will be left with the choice of either being a good egg bird or Sunday roast (not sure if aliens have Sunday roast but best to assume yes).
DeleteI would say welcome to my blog but you have not become a follower, I will investigate you to see if you are an alien scout worried that I am getting to close to the truth over all the is Armageddon Apocalypse stuff
Have no fear Rob Z, when the village mob surrounds your abode on hearing that you have lost vital information that could halt the end of the world, I shall stand beside you. *sharpens pitchfork and lights torch*
ReplyDeleteThat is very kind of you Miss Lily. The local village mod as it happens is so small that it may not strictly constitute a mod. I think technically rather than a mod they could be called Brian, but by ducking and diving he might manage to appear to be more people than he is....
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