Thursday, 28 June 2012

The Wicked Witch of the West ...... Part Two

The Ghost Writer being a ghost
or as Mum said an IDIOT

Sometimes the best of plans do not go as planned, today is such a case. My trip to the dentist I was told when I got there was yesterday, I said that they had sent a letter changing my appointment to today but they said this was impossible. It was impossible because my dentist never works on Thursdays EVER, so they knew I was wrong. They then said as it happens he is working Thursday next week and Thursday the week after?? But the appointments are all full so I have to wait until June 2023 at 4:30 on a Thursday.  Still it could have been a lot worse I might have got in to see the dentist………HAHAHHAHHAh ahh ha hah haha hhah aha hhha ahhh aha haha hah ahah aha. 

We grew these ......Well Cool 

My good friend Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy has informed us that all is not well in the rolling hills by cricket pitch with the big lake beyond so I feel I must continue the tale as it started in the form of a fairy tale.

Our heroine Miss Goldilocks as we know sent her secret coded message to her headquarters deep within the secret cellar complex of the Kremlin (which I must never mention…….AH). The seagulls are sitting on the lake playing cricket the ball has been hit out of bounds in the fields, send more puffins and vodka. The Witch is Mad……..  

Because as we know The Wicked Witch of the West was scaring the people of the village (OK town) and everyone was afraid, scared to venture onto the rolling fields and cricket pitch, yet alone go to the lake. The Wicked Witch of the West laughing hysterically, proudly looking over all the land which she now controlled, where not even a Song Thrush stirred or sang.  

Having dissevered Miss Goldilocks’ message the powers that be deep within the cellar complex of the Kremlin (AH sorry I mentioned it again) hatched a plan, they activated their secret moles (no not the furry things that make little mounds but the spies). These moles were disguised as unsuspecting little old ladies who were sent deep into the fields past the cricket pitch to the lake where they sat and ate neat cucumber sandwiches and Earl Grey Tea in china cups and sent messages on their shortwave radios.

Then as they were about to cut into a rather nice Victoria sandwich cake The Wicked Witch of the West arrived in a cloud of smoke and fury and screamed and shouted and threw all the Victoria sandwich cake into the lake.   Where a hand rose out of the lake to catch it, a small voice shouting “Thanks I’ll eat it Later”  The Wicked Witch of the West did not notice or care she sent the little old ladies packing making them scurry off back to the village laughing hysterically behind them.

But her actions stirred the great Lord of all the Land, all the cricket pitches, and all the lakes from his sleep and he summoned his assistant Thomas Attila the h-unsmiling. Their powers are great and The Wicked Witch of the West may be banished from the land or made to eat soggy Victoria sandwich cake with little old ladies in the town hall as penance. However even as I write other forces are a foot, the villagers having been outraged by this latest act have risen as a body and are heading towards the castle of the Wicked witch of the West with fiery torches (not the ones with batteries, OK they might have those too) and plan to eat cake and walk their dogs and point and shout and say YA SUCKS BOO….HA HA HA to YOU then run like hell back to the village (OK town).

The Plans of the minds deep in the  secret cellars of the Kremlin (Sorry I did it again) are working as planned, unless of course it is Thursday……….AH  

To be continued:-

Ooooooo I picked our first Red Currents (Currants) earlier.



  1. Replies
    1. And tonight it concludes, for the moment, time will tell.....

  2. I am thinking we should start a rock band caLLed The PiLLage People. With a word like PiLLage, it would focus on a select fanbase of pharmacy professionals (PiLL) and The Elderly (age).

    1. Pharmacy professionals and The Elderly are a good mix the Elderly love a few pills... I must see if such a band exists it sounds like it should.....

  3. I would have been annoyed if someone threw my Victoria sandwich cake into the lake, I'd have been looking forward to it! Hope the Wicked Witch of the West gets what's coming to her :)

    1. She has, she will not be eating cake for a while.