Saturday, 9 July 2011

The big party and the rare goat eating tarantula spider

I have been invited to a big party today so my diary entry will be dependent on events and timing and how much rain falls today. Right now it is very sunny so with luck. Dad has loaded up the car with things and will be heading off into the dark blue yonder to set up soon. Pirate Pete wants to take his harpoon gun to catch wild Haggis in the hills. . . . . . . . .We will see what the day brings?

Flooding one day, hot sun the next. Dad says its delayed response to his Weather Machine; he says its turbo lag....

................................................................a bit later.

Stage one is now complete tents, barbeques, bunting, supplies, food and drinks and various other stuff. We have popped home for a chill as it was hard work setting all that up it is still very hot and sunny. Dad said he could set up his Weather Machine again to cool it down a bit but mum said NO. It is a fortieth  birthday surprise party always a risk because there is always a chance the person whose birthday it is might decide to do something on their birthday and not arrive. Dad said this is OK because if that happens we don’t tell them we have had a surprise party and we all get to eat more and keep all the presents, mum said IDIOT.

Pirate Pete said he would quite like to keep the rare goat eating tarantula spider he bought on eBay. Mum thinks it will certainly be the present that has the most impact but has advised Pirate Pete to keep it in its crate until the end of the evening, as it might eat the small children.

Anyway we will be heading back in a short while once we load up the trailer with the tarantula spider; the big padlocks and chain are just a precautionary measure.

........................................................... A bit later Still

Well we have returned a little earlier than planned but dad recons they were all the wrong age group and from south of Watford gap. In fact I think dad was being grumpy because he was the oldest their, someone said he could pretend to be younger but he likes being old and grumpy. I must admit the music was not really us either we like more guitar based bands like Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, AC/DC even punk or Weather Report but definitely not modern fake bubblegum  rap and pop.

Still the food was really good and everyone was happy right up to the point that Miss Jo opened the crate with Pirate Pete’s present in. It might have been better if Pirate Pete had fed the goat eating tarantula spider before we went then it might not have lunged at a little girl or eaten a substantial percentage of the barbecued ribs. That led to a lot of screaming and then a complaint from a neighbour and the arrival of the police, and it was rather a small police dog and did look a bit like a goat. After all our dog and Rusty the Robot dog are OK but the dog is huge and Rusty apparently has lasers fitted.

So we left and have arrived home just in time for midnight. Pirate Pete is happy because he had to bring the goat eating tarantula spider back although it is quite happy now having eaten the police dog and possibly a child but in the chaos who could tell. Mum says it may need to go to a zoo as it is possibly a bit dangerous and the police are a little unset.

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