Monday, 30 May 2011

YO HO HO and a Bottle of Rum a swordfish struggling with a quadratic Sum

After a night asleep in a hammock and from time to time the floor on the pirate ship Armadillous I was awoken by seagulls because Pirate Pete was trying to teach them to perch on his shoulder and talk.  By putting superglue and bits of squid on his shoulders, he had got 8 of them to perch there but they got stuck and were fighting for squid.

So once we removed the seagulls from Pirate Pete we started the day with Breakfast at the side of the harbour. A good hearty breakfast of bacon, fried eggs and fried bread, sausages, black pudding, mushrooms deep fried in breadcrumbs, scotch eggs, kippers, scrabbled eggs on toast, hash brownies, porridge with syrup and cream, tea coffee and toast, coco pops and Russian vodka (I think that might have just been the Russian spy’s)  and fresh orange juice because mum said we needed to have something remotely healthy but she is vegetarian so her breakfast was not as good as ours.

After breakfast everyone said we should set sail for Kathmandu because it sounded interesting although the geography teacher said it was not the easiest place to sail too due to the need to go up hill a lot. But we are pirates and things like that are mere bagatelle to a pirate, (not sure what that means but dad said it’s what pirates say when confronted with an obstacle). Mum said what mum says but everyone went HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR and we set sail following the sun over the horizon and out to sea. Leaving the island in the middle of the lake in the park in the town far behind us (It has been explained before so HAR HAR HAR).
The dog took Rusty the Robot dog below deck to teach him to stick his head out of a porthole and point his nose into the wind because it is what dogs do in a vehicle. So they were barking and shouting in Pirate Latin at the Flying Fish and Dolphins.  Pirate Pete spent the day in the crows nest as look out but because he still had bits of Squid stuck to him all he saw all day was Seagulls. We have set a course that will engage us with the QE2 in the next day or so which dad recons will have really good guitar amps to plumber.  Fresh battered Cod and chips tonight YUMMY.  Mum says Cod are overfished and they might become extinct, so me and dad said we better eat lots of them now before they all vanish, but I don’t think that’s what mum meant because she hit he and dad with the toaster.

So its YO HO HO and a Bottle of Rum a swordfish struggling with a quadratic Sum ……. Off into the night to chase beasts of the sea.


I believe that Pirates of the Caribbean Four film is out either now or soon or sometime called something like No Stranger Hides so I thought I would create a tale to counterbalance all that money and hype so as its half term and we are sailing the seven seas with no money or hype or film crew. We are calling our adventure; A Stranger Type because it seems like the Write thing to do HAR AHR AHR AHR ?

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