Saturday, 14 May 2011

Trees. Toner. And the giant toad that ate the Queen ......... Time for tea

Miss Fiona left the ghost writer some happy tea bags in Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop today, when I say happy tea bags the tea bags were not happy they were tea bags with a happy tea in (still sounds wrong).  Anyway the ghost writer said being happy would only make him grumpy and he is much happier being grumpy instead. The dog said this is a classic case of the Fletcher transitional Paradox…. WHAT?

It was decided by all that the best thing to do was to sit down and have a nice cup of tea and discuss if we should all try the happy tea which we did, not trying it but discussing it over a cup of tea. In the end it was decided that we should have a cup of happy tea but by then we had drunk so much ordinary tea that we thought we had better try it later.

The ghost writer himself then got in a real grump because his printer ran out of toner half way through the bit about the huge toad in Hyde Park trying to eat the Queen during the royal wedding and the masses of loyal subjects shouting and throwing egg whisks at it while Prince whatshisname and the other one drove round and round the palace to distract it. Anyway the printer ran out of ink just then and the ghost writer said he wanted to send a copy of the story to that very nice Steven Spielberg man to read, and if it ended there the whole story would make no sense again. So he had to drive a round trip of 50 miles plus to get some but at least he is not grumpy now and can leave the story again.

Me and the dog spent part of the day in the wood chasing trees? It was the dog’s idea, not mine because I never thought trees could move so catching a tree seemed to me rather easy. But apparently you are only allowed to catch the ones that are moving and the ones not moving are there to hide the moving ones. It got very complex indeed and I never found one but the dog did he showed me the tree but I said it was not moving only the dog said once you catch a moving tree it will stop moving and pretend to be a non moving tree. Apparently it might stay still for years so the dog said it was not worth waiting to see it move and anyway by then I was well exhausted from all the running about chasing trees. When I told mum what we had been doing she threw the Armadillo toaster at the dog and said IDIOT but I don’t know why.

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