Friday, 6 May 2011

Minibus Royals, charades and Boolean Algebra.

The day after the day before, and the day before tomorrow and exactly a week from a week ago. The Fun Fair has gone the voters have gone all the cars have gone and all the people appear to have gone too. The town has gone from the hustle and bustle of a small market town to a ghost town with no ghosts. Actually that last bit is not true there are a few ghosts in Montgomery.

Even School was very quiet and we all had to do charades and point at things and wave our hands about. I have never done charades in Maths before and although we could all count up to ten very easily; we found doing Boolean Algebra a bit awkward. Well trying to understand what the teacher was saying or not saying while he balanced on one leg on his deck doing what looked like the front crawl was almost impossible. The dog says that was easy, it was minus infinity and we should have got that dead easy.  Still charades in maths makes more sense than charades in music and not being allowed to make any noise what so ever. The music teacher did say it is the best I have ever played the violin and gave me a gold star but I didn’t actually make any noise? Mum said she will give me a gold star too if I don’t play the violin which is easy to do at home because we don’t have one, well not any longer not after dad attacked it with the flame thrower after my recital of Born in the USA by that Bruce Springtin bloke. He said I was scaring Fluffy the Cat. I don’t know how as Fluffy was back home in Mr Jenkins sleeping at the time and the dog howling on the landing was much louder than me I’m sure.

We are returning to a period of normality again now as there are no holidays or bank holidays or Royal Wedding or solar eclipses or events of a similar  nature for at least three weeks after which I’m sure another Royal might be getting married and there is another bank holiday. The two events are not connected by the way as it might be one of the minivan royals getting married this time or is it the queen? Mum just said IDIOT. I suspect she might not mean the queen so it is either me or the minibus royal person.


Well I have time tonight to write a bit more in my diary  as Heavy Harry the Cat is outside somewhere so I can get to my desk. There are two police cars opposite and the police have just wondered towards the main square, they are not wearing stab jackets or carrying coshes so they are not after the cat.

The cat went to the vet today to get an annual jab, he was not very happy but was somewhat confused so was in and out before he had the chance to attack anyone. I was somewhat amused by a big sign saying Flea Awareness Month, the dog has just said I don’t have flea’s so I will go out and find some or in other words I have to start from Scratch. He has fallen over laughing again now, he might be clever but he is rubbish at jokes. I might take that back because I heard a growl.  Dad is grumbling about it costing more to get the animals sorted than humans I think it has something to do with charging by the leg.

On the bus going to school we saw a sign in a car saying no to electric village. I think that is to do with the pylons only an electric village sounds really cool to me so I think they might need to change that a bit. Pirate Pete went to one of those protest meeting he had adopted one of the old classic sixties protest chants and changed the words a bit so when he shouted what do we want more pylons. When do we want them………. Now……  He realized he had got it slightly wrong but he did say he could only think of pro pylon chants as all the anti pylon chants were rubbish. The dog says it’s an omen and rather than think of them as pylons we should think of them as The Eiffel Tower. Dad just said the Awful tower and both him and the dog are rolling about laughing again. Pirate Pete is now in the garden shouting Maggie Maggie Maggie Hub Hub Hub; really it can seem totally mad here sometimes. Captain Flint the Parrot is still going on about gold stars and treasure chests too. I tried to explain but as he is a parrot and  he can get a bit single minded. I will go and feed him Brazil nuts that normally works. I think Pirate Pete must have taught him to say Polly wants a pylon.

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