Thursday 13 November 2014

PART THREE of Harry Potter and the Curse of the Penguin




Link to PART TWO

As young Higgs, Alice and the White Rabbit follow Harry Potter outside he explains the terrible dilemma that has befallen Hogwarts and the world of the wizards.

IT ALL THIS SNOW AND ICE IT SEEMS TO BE GETTING WORSE AND THIS SORT OF WEATHER NEVER HAPPENS HERE EXCEPT ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS DAY, WE HAVE TRIED SEVERAL SPELLS TO CHANGE IT BUT TO NO AVAIL. IT IS VERY ODD. AND OF COURSE THERE ARE ALL THESE CUTE FLUFFY PENGUINS WADDLING ABOUT ALL OVER THE PLACE DEMANDING PLAICE. THEY ARE DISTRACTING THE YOUNG WIZARDS FROM THEIR CLASSES AND FOLK KEEP TREADING IN PENGUIN POO IT IS GETTING EVERYWHERE. WE KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG AND IT WILL ALL END BADLY UNLESS WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PROBLEM.

As they look across the main courtyard of Hogwarts, Hagrid is leading a group of penguins into an enormous igloo he has built in the corner

AH YES HAGRID LOVES THE PENGUINS HE KEEPS TURNING UP WITH THEM. I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE FINDS SO MANY.  I HAVE WARNED HIM TO STOP BUT HE LOVES HIS WILDLIFE AND FOR ONCE IT APPEARS HARMLESS says Harry

As the White Rabbit stands in the centre of the courtyard staring intently at the penguins who seem keen to avoid him, young Higgs and Alice Enter the huge igloo where Hagrid is feeding hundreds of Penguins.

OOOOO AH HELLO MASTER HIGGS AND MISS ALICE THESE PENGUINS ARE DEAD CUTE LOOK I’VE GOT LOADS OF THEM.

SO I SEE says Young Higgs THEY DO SMELL A BIT THOUGH

DO THEY I THOUGHT THAT WAS ME. HERE AREN’T YOU A BIT CHILLY MISS ALICE YOU ARE NOT REALLY DRESSED FOR THIS WEATHER. I HAVE THIS RATHER NICE WHITE COAT.

THANK YOU HAGRID IT IS LOVELY AND WARM BUT IT IS RATHER AN EXPENSIVE COAT WHERE DID YOU GET IT SAID ALICE AND SHE PUT IT ON

THE WHITE WITCH LEFT IT BEHIND WHEN SHE VISITED HOGWARTS . . . . AH DAMN I WAS NOT MEANT TO TELL FOLK THAT. SHE CAME TO VISIT THE PROFESSORS . . . . . .AH DAMN I WAS NOT MEANT TO TELL YOU THAT EITHER.

WHICH PROFESSORS DID SHE VISIT HAGRID WE ARE GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS, MUCH BETTER THAN YOU ARE SO IF YOU TELL US YOU DON’T NEED TO KEEP IT SECRET ANY LONGER. said Young Higgs

THAT’S VERY KIND MASTER HIGGS WELL SHE CAME TO SEE PROFESSOR JOHN LEWSTORE WHITE, PROFESSOR SERIOUSLY WHITE AND PROFESSOR PENGUINUS WEBFOOT WHITE, THEY ARE ALL BROTHERS. THEY ARE FAMOUS IN HOGWARTS FOR MAKING THE FIRST AEROPLANE TO FLY OVER THE MAIN TOWER UNDER ITS OWN POWER RATHER THAN CHEATING USING A SPELL. SHE THOUGHT THEY MIGHT HELP HER FIND THE FABLED RING THE ARCTIC SEAL, USING THE SEVEN POINTED ICE COMPASS OF THE HÖÐR 

As Alice and Young Higgs leave the igloo the White Rabbit is still standing looking intently at the cute fluffy penguins but makes a gesture to Alice and points at the eyes of one of the passing penguins

IT APPEARS says Alice THAT THOSE PENGUINS ARE LESS CUTE AND FLUFFY THAN FOLK THINK THEY ARE.

ARE YOU SURE says Young Higgs THEY LOOK HARMLESS ENOUGH TO ME.

Back in the great hall Harry Potter decides they should split up and hunt down the three professors and ask them what is going on.

I TELL YOU WHAT MASTER HIGGS TAKE TONTO WITH YOU HE IS THE BEST TRACKER IN HOGWARTS, ME AND HERMIONE WILL CHECK THE CLASSROOMS AND ALICE AND THE RABBIT CAN LOOK IN THE LIBRARY.

Young Higgs adding LOOK OUT FOR THE REVEREND GREEN WITH A REVOLVER but the White Rabbit does not look amused.

As they all start searching Professor John Lewstore White,  Professor Seriously White and  Professor Penguinus Webfoot White are looking at their seven handed clock where every hour is seven and every minute is seven and every second is seven. The Professors congratulating themselves on there best ever invention. Professor Seriously White saying THIS IS THE BEST DEVICE WE HAVE EVER MADE EVEN BETTER THAN THAT AEROPLANE AND IT WILL FOR EVER BE SEVEN MINUTES PAST SEVEN ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF WINTER AH AH HA HAH HHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH AH AH AH AH AH AH HA HAH AH AH AH AH HA HA AND THOSE FOOLS STILL HAVE NOT NOTICED THAT TIME HAS STOPPED YET.

However not far away Tonto and Young Higgs have seen the strange clock and heard the words of Professor Seriously White.  Tonto turns to Young Higgs and says WHITE MEN SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE, but they are noticed and the Professors give chase, but just as Professor John Lewstore White is about to cast a terrible spell on the two of them a large smiling cat suddenly appears floating in mid-air grabbing Professor John Lewstore White’s wand before vanishing again while saying BEWARE THE JABBERWOCK, MY SON!  . . . . . . O CRICKEY NOT AGAIN shouts one of the Professors and they run off at speed in the other direction.

Meanwhile back at the White Witches Palace where the White which peers deep into a crystal ball, the White Witch is thinking aloud and saying I CAN SEE THOSE MEDDLING KIDS AT HOGWARTS IN THE CRYSTAL BALL, WE NEED TO GRAB THEM NAB THEM GET POINTY STICKS AND JAB THEM. While Muttley the dog mutters SUSCCHIN RUTHIN HUTHIN NUTHIN BUUTHER TUTHER SMUTHER . NUTHIN BUUTHER TUTHER RUTHIN HUTHIN NUTHIN HUTHIN NUTHIN. . . .PESKY KIDS.

But the White Witches thoughts are broken by the arrival of three rather exhausted Professors

WE FOUND IT WE FOUND IT LOOOOOOOOOK IT IS THE RING IT’S THE FABLED ARCTIC SEAL OF WINTER

The White Witch looks at the ring and laughs a mad long and very very evil laugh and then says

IT IS TIME. . . . . WE SHALL MARCH ON HOGWARTS TOMORROW AND DESTROY THEM ALL, PARTICULARLY THOSE INTERFERING KIDS AND THAT STUPID LARGE WHITE RABBIT . . . . . . I HATE RABBITS . . . . NO I MEAN I REALLY HATE RABBITS LOADS.


5 comments:

  1. Ooh, don't even get me started on Rabbits...

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    1. I do prefer rabbits to cute fluffy penguins, but well we all have our likes and dislikes..... I quite like ducks but they taste sooooooooo nice, I always feel guilty afterwards and it is very rare for me to eat them. Folk frown when you are wading about in the duck pond with a harpoon gun.

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  2. Snap! I hates rabbits more than I hate snow.

    Thinking about it, this story is turning into a right horror story for me. Snow, Rabbits... I just hope there no mention of failing wifi in the next part or else I'll be having nightmares!!!!!

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    1. DAMN this rabbit hero idea is not going well at present. I will save the failing wifi for another Harry Potter story . . . . There is one sad death in the final instalment that I'm sure will make you smile (no not the rabbit).....

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  3. Hmmm ... I guess I missed this one, I don't remember seeing the igloo picture. Oops, gotta gobackto work.

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