The Acme Armageddon Universal Chemistry Set; Murder on the Orient Express and the spider

I have tried to be really useful today by helping dad in the garden this morning and Mum painting this afternoon. Dad was complaining about the plants and saying the wrong ones are growing and the ones that are; are growing really fast. And all want to stab him of sting him or give him a bad rash or eat the goldfish or trip us up.

Dad is not a great gardener and weeds with the flame thrower so we always have Char grilled vegetables from the veggy patch. We were using a new tactic today and dad has made his very own secret formula weed killer from his Acme Armageddon Universal Chemistry Set which he bought online from some dodgy company in South America via Amazon or was it by the Amazon. Mum offered to help him as she was a scientist but he said he wanted to do it himself, it was a very good weed killer but the explosions did scare Fluffy, Mr Jenkins cat who ran up the big tree again. I don’t know why he does that it takes ages to get him out of it. It was fun gardening with dad but mum shouted at us and said we were not allowed to have any food until we had filled all the holes up, me and dad both said NOT FAIR.  

It was a quieter afternoon painting which we have had to do with the office moving and Chris the Builder doing work on the old office and stuff although he has run away for the weekend now. The whole kitchen is painted, well almost the whole kitchen because there is a monster spider in one corner who refuses to move.  Because we quite like spiders we are leaving that corner until the spider wanders off for a bite to eat or a party.

The dog and Pirate Pete have spent the day in the wood with the banshee’s who have told them that Count Gomery is now living with his cousin in Transylvania where they are doing very well with their little holiday business called Murder on the Orient Express, Its not quite like the book or movie although most of the murders do happen at night, well all the murders happen at night. They claim to make the best Bloody Mary in the world, even better than the one on The Flying Scots-Woman.

 Mum is complaining that I am heading down one of my more obscure tangents of random thought and I should get back to the point.

So sorry about that the point is that….. I cant remember what the point is now …. NOT FAIR mum just said IDIOT …… foood YUMMY time to go.