Our little town has filled up with tourists today I don’t like all the tourists, I prefer it when the town is quiet so does dad even Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop have a big sign in the summer saying NO BROWSERS OR ANYONE ELSE WE MIGHT NOT LIKE. Mum says its not a very commercial thing to do but Mr Beelzebub said some things are more important than money.
Because it is very hot Pirate Pete’s steam powered bionic legs that dad made for him keep hissing and spraying clouds of steam at people, but he has become a tourist attraction. So me the dog Pirate Pete and Captain Flint the Parrot all went into the main square and were charging people to be photographed with Pirate Pete and Captain Flint although Captain Flint was demanding Brazil nuts rather than money. Even Pirate Pete was not that interested in money because he thinks we should be using gold doubloons not silly little tin coins and bits of paper with the picture of a strange little old lady on them. We told him it was the queen, but he though the queen was a Chinese lady with long black hair and a patch over one eye. The dog said he was thinking of the wrong queen altogether?
Talking of queens we have the Royal Weeding sorry Wedding in just over a weeks time and there is rumour of a street party in the main square now so we are all talking about running off and hiding. Pirate Pete suggested Trafalgar Square but mum, dad, the dog and me all said IDIOT.
Paul Nessman The pomp. The circumstance. Oh, how I don't envy you ;)
Surely Captain Nessman of the high seas famous Pirate, buccaneer and thorn in the side of the tally ho British fleet you mean Pompeii
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