Thursday, 12 November 2015

The True Story behind the John Lewis Christmas Advert (2015)

Once upon a time not very long ago there was an old grumpy man who lived in old wonky house right in the middle of a posh housing estate which was full of advertising agency executives, and various directors of large multinational companies and their families.  They where not keen on the old grumpy man and he was not keen on them.  Then one day a very strange thing happened a small sink-hole opened up over night in the front garden of the old man's house. He was quite pleased and thought he could finally get rid of a load of old rubbish he had lying about in the garden that the neighbours had been complaining about.

Well after he had thrown all sorts of stuff into the hole such as the old rusty bike, the old mattress and bedstead and a few battered bits of furniture and various other stuff he realised that the hole was very very deep. In fact he could not see the bottom of the hole even with all his rubbish in it so he thought he better complain to the local council and get them to fix it. Well lots of council workers turned up and peered down the hole and dropped lines down the hole and even got a scientist to look at it but no one could work out how deep it was.

Of course the council were not happy so they decided they were going to make a big concrete lid to cover it up to protect the public while more research was carried out. telling the grumpy old man he would put up in a posh hotel until things were resolved. He was very happy with this, but the night before the men were due to arrive to do the work and seal the hole, the grumpy old man took one last look down into the deep dark hole when something happened.

You see that night it had been announced on the news that NASA had discovered a pile of rubbish on the Moon that looked like someone had been fly tipping. The West blamed the Russians (they do that a lot) and said it was them but they denied it (they do that a lot) and said it was China who in turn blamed North Korea who said it was indeed them and that they now owned the moon.  However the little girl who lived next to the old man saw the picture of the rubbish and recognized it as the stuff the grumpy old man had thrown down the hole in his garden. It so happened she did not like the Grumpy old man much because he kept complaining about her cat to her parents who would then blame her and tell her off. So as the old man took his last look into the hole she sneaked up behind him and pushed him in

The next morning as the workmen turned up to cap the sink-hole they found the little girl dropping a present into the hole attached to a load of balloons telling the men it was for the man on the moon and he was called Dave and was a bit grumpy.

She then ran home and told her dad (an advertising executive with John Lewis) that she had sent a present to the man on the moon. . . He then suddenly leapt up from the breakfast table and said I have just had a brilliant idea. Well the little girl (his daughter) was not entirely happy because she said it was her idea and it was a true story, but by then he had rushed off to work. But she did get some satisfaction that night as she peered up at the Grumpy Old Man stuck on the moon with her telescope waving to him and laughing hysterically. Sadly the grumpy old man’s eye sight was not good and he thought it was his granddaughter who was on her gap year hiking in North Korea.  

Apparently NASA are now planning a rescue mission but it may take some time. . . . .  



  1. Replies
    1. It is all true, I have seen the man on the moon myself.

  2. This is the first time I have seen this years JL advert.

    I enjoyed your interpretation.

    I wish my telescope could zoom in that far to the moon. hahaha.

    1. I would like one of those telescopes to, but some young girl stole mine while I was distracted by her elderly assistant.

      Hang on it may have been a flying snowman and a small lad who stole the telescope

  3. Ooh, I've not seen this year's John Lewis ad.

    That is one powerful telescope. Who gifted it to the little girl? NASA?

    That fair brought a tear to my eye, but I much prefer your version Mr H. Right, I'm off to purchase me one of those telescope. A hot guy just moved in across the road and I need it to do some mean star gazing.

    1. Miss Lily; the Hot Guy might be a bit red in colour and have pointy horns and a long tail so just take care where you point that telescope.

      I suspect John Lewis will have many telescopes in the shops as we speak - type

  4. Hey Mr. Rob,

    Your story actually sounds credible. I shall now grab my rocket sleigh and head for the moon.....


    1. Are you sure it sounds credible Mr G or are you as mad as I am