Sunday, 8 November 2015

Alternative Mathematics, Demons, Banshees and Other Things

The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the square of the tangent of the circle that fits the volume of the triangles square and if this is dissected by the line taken from the acute angle to a point equal to the co-sign times Pi from the square root of the opposite side. Then with some certainty we can say the following simple formula is true

A = B*C(D-F)

Where A is the time it takes for the Maths teacher to throw you out of his course for wasting his time and B is the degree of confusion that you have created in the mind of the teacher and C represents the reaction of other students to your answer where D is the number of students and F is the number of students who have not actually noticed that you are talking complete gibberish as defined by Modern Mathematics.

Now on a sunny day I would be able to mention Mathematics in this slightly odd and friendly way without any issues, but if there is one truth here today it is that the sky is as grey as a sky can be and the wind is howling past at great speed. Yes I don’t think we are going to see a happy go lucky Harry Potter passing this way on his Broom, I think it will be Banshees and at least one of those Dementor things scurrying past heading towards some dark place of doom. Having along with all that grey wet cloud, arrived from some other place of doom and acting very doomsday as they all go by.   OK a few of them have waved, but we are all mates really but that is not something I need go about telling the world is it. . . . . . AH DAMN I may have just let slip. . . . . DAMN.

I may have also made the mistake of starting this post with the words Mathematics hypotenuse, square and tangent these are not good words to use to attract followers or readers. Where ironically enough, Banshees, Doom and Dementor are good words to use to attract followers and readers which must say much about human logic and thinking and probably explains why most folk are rubbish at Maths except a few weird geeky sorts who love it and have worked out that a Banshees molecular structure is based on a low density plasma that uses the principles of antimatter and radioactive carbon with unbalanced isotopes, well that and demonic possession.

Tonight’s picture is brought to you with the assistance of a small person who has had a bit of a tough time in life so far and now also has to speak to me (along with his sister) from time to time.  Where I tell them both of Mathematics, Banshees and assist them in drawing stuff. They visited earlier where I pointed out that the grey wet clouds flying past above us at speed were full of terrible demons and Mathematicians. Strangely they seemed to head off smiling and appeared happy so I must be losing my skills.


Ooooooo a quick arty Poem

Miro painted strange Shapes
Antony Gormley likes to make a Man
Monet painted ponds and Stuff
And Andy Warhol liked to draw a . . . . Can 


  1. Apologies Mr Z, I am so far behind on my blog reading.
    The computer has been kidnapped daily by a mad megalomaniac, chanting about some kind of evil satanic rite which goes by the name of 'Home work.' It's a bit of an important year for the Lil man, so I have no choice but to relent.

    Do love the colourfullness (shut up Google spell check, that is a real word) of the drawing and the amusing mini poem at the end.

    1. It is very important that the Lil Man (Master Meglos) does his bit and achieves what he wants. I suspect he will battle away doing his homework with a grand master plan in place.

      Just make sure he knows that life is a strange twisty road full of many unknowns that can change many a plan. But I will quietly cheer him on and wish him well on his quest.

      My own quest is taking a few (just over 62 so far) more years than I planned but I will keep at it a while longer. Fame fortune and the bright lights is not pushing the limits I think, for a grumpy scruffy bloke that cant spell type and run in a straight line.

      Small folk do like their bright colours.

  2. Just remember Mr Z, good things come to those who wait...except the no. 147 bus. That comes for no one.

    1. There is waiting and waiting Miss Lily and this is like being at the dentist . . . .

      Ah yes the 147 Bus, the bus of Legend (Oooooo there is almost a jolly story there)

  3. I was reading an article about base 12 and how everyone should use it instead of base 10 counting.
    I got very confused, very worried that I may forget how to count to ten, managed to count to ten and gave up.
    It melted my mind.
    Maths is cool and do like it, but there are limits to my understanding .... and patience. hahahahaha

    1. Mr H I remember doing something about Base 12 a very very long time ago at college, hundreds of years ago when my brain was young keen and Stupid as brains tend to be when they are young. The reason I remember it was because as a class we probably looked like a bunch of petrified chickens standing on a busy Motorway thinking O ******* What the ********* are we doing ***** ******* *******

      Sometimes Maths does stuff to mess with folks and has no practical reason, even if a very clever chap says it does. He is only being smug because he knows that once he is on the street fighting for a bargain in the January sales he will be crushed and beaten by little old ladies and he will leave with only a half price slide rule and a three legged My Little Pony.