Sunday, 5 July 2015

I have been forced into writing instant nonsense poetry.

Having no idea what to write about having had a rather busy weekend and friends stopping I have been forced into writing instant nonsense poetry in order to avoid not writing anything although that would be easier. I am not a great poet but I will do my best...

Mr Crimpy Crumpy Stumpy was a curious man
Who lived in the back of an old Battered Van
With a large wild hedgehog called Uncle Joe
Who having escaped from a nuclear power station . . .  (that’s the Hedgehog)
Had a strange luminous glow.

They ate cheese and crackers from the corner shop
And tin mugs full of tea which Joe would often accidently drop . . .  (well he is a hedgehog)
Singing sea shanties about squid and beasts of the sea.
Swinging from a rope swing, attached to the branch
Of an old oak tree

Then one night Mr Crimpy Crumpy Stumpy got into a spin
Having drank fifteen glasses of homemade Gin
Folk say he was not himself, clearly a little mad
Because in the morning he found he had eaten the hedgehog
Which was not very nice
And considered . . .  ( by some)
Rather bad.



  1. I wonder if that's where the idea for Hedgehog flavoured crisps came from? Did Mr Crimpy Crumpy Stumpy, work for 'Walkers' by any chance?

    1. The family that started up Hedgehog Flavoured Crisps lived locally and we often used to bump into them from time to time for a chat. But I have not seen them for ages and ages . . . .such is life

  2. That was delightful. I think my favorite tea is an almond flavored one.

    1. OOoooooo I like my tea, tea flavoured and full of milk and sugar

  3. You're a poet
    and you know it!

    Laughed along… and loved it. High five for the attempt, and a good one at that!

    Cheers, Jenny

    1. I like to think my poetry is slightly in the mould of the late great Spike Milligan the hero of a certain generation.