Friday, 7 March 2014
Slugs, Explosions and a rather useful tip for the A to Z Challenge
As most of you know I am a pupil at the local Academy and due to an administrator’s error also a teacher. Now it has been rather a long time since I have told all of you of events with Freddie and his ferrets or Esmeralda or the school mascot, the School Goat, and with good reason. You see this is not the sort of school frequented by the likes of Harry Potter, it is not a school for wizards although Jimmy’s dad is apparently a wizard at accounts or so the high court judge told him. Jimmy is very proud, he said accounting gets a bad name and it is time someone recognized the skills involved.
This however is all a distraction what I am saying is our school is a normal school we don’t have three headed dogs or huge blundering giants and the like wandering about; or explosions . . . . . . . . OK yes we do have explosions but we are young keen and have access to the internet so science needs to be exciting and Maths, it is a little known fact but Maths is a key lesson in the making of explosions as it allows students to use a grappling hook to pinch some weed killer from the caretakers shed below the classroom.
Sorry distracted again . . . . . . Many of you will know that my main subject as a teacher is Zombie Defence Classes but as we approach spring it is a difficult subject to teach as the minds of Zombies turn to love, yes it is apparently the breeding season. As the young innocent slightly eccentric child of cyberspace I have no plans to teach the breeding habits of Zombies to anyone so I thought I KNOW I will do what they do in other schools use Frogs. I was sadly unable to find any Frogs so I have substituted Frogs for Slugs. And with the help of Freddie and Esmeralda managed to fill a huge tank with over 10,000 slugs . . Well it appears the lid of the tank was a little insecure and the slugs are breeding in the school at a rather alarming rate. The good news the breeding cycle of the Zombie and slug is plain for everyone to see; The bad news is I had to stay in after school and clean all the slime . . . . . . . . . .YUCK . . . . . . .
The up side to all this is I feel the very nice Steven Spielberg will be far more amenable to a film full of breeding Slugs and Zombies than one full of annoying British Wizards who just grow up and whinge a lot and anyway that has been well and truly done to death now.
I will end this diary entry on the blog with a poem as a useful hint of how to do the A to Z when you can’t think of a single word for certain letters. . . . .
Arrim, aroo, addus, aboo.
And filly the aardvark in the arcline agoo
While aplit and acca are appy abzeeeee
And fettle the arra
And smile at the Zombie
Barrim baroo baddus baboo
And filly the aardvark in the barcline bagoo
While baplit and bacca are bappy babzeeeeee
And fettle the barra
And smile at the Zombie
So clever are weeeeeeeee
But you can’t claim you’re an Aardvark
To a hungry Zombieeeeeeee
It will eat you and ruin a good poem
HAH HA HAH AH HAH AH HAH AH H AH H H HA HAH Ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha