Monday, 4 March 2013

The geography of motte and bailey and things of no importance

I was discussing my impenetrable defence trench at school today with the geography teacher as I thought he might be able to help by suggesting ways of contouring the land to improve our defence. You see there is a weakness in our location because less than one hundred yards behind the house are the remains of motte and bailey from way back in history, something that myself and the dog think might be used by intelligent zombies. Yes I realize that represents a contradiction in terms but evolution suggests that with time Zombies might learn skills. The dog has already said they might try to get parts in Zombie movies as it must be very frustrating to see all the good zombie parts played my actors who are not zombies.  He thinks that the local zombies have already started a zombie union and are building a social club in a small vista in the woods called the bony-vista  (well that’s tonight’s music sorted then HAH HAHHAH HAHAHH Hah hahaha hahahahhahaha ha).

Sorry I got distracted; I was saying about the impenetrable defence trench and the geography teacher, he says I have built my defences based on an old iron-age method which is fine as long as I am not up against Roman zombies . . . . . . . no sorry I mean roaming zombies which have a habit of walking round the end of trenches, and I need to make the impenetrable defence trench at least 23 times longer.   I think I might give up defending myself against zombies they are getting too much like hard work.  Maybe if I become an affiliated member of the union of zombies, tell the dog to stop eating the chewy ones and offer them parts in the block buster movie they might forget about trying to walk round the end of the impenetrable defence trench and look confused and defeated by a huge and very long impenetrable defence trench.

The geography said I was an IDIOT  . . . . . . . . Mmmmmmm I might tell the zombies where he lives 



  1. The remains of a Mott and Bailey? Wow!
    The only remains we have around here, seem to be the ashes from the Olympics.

    Maybe if you pay them in brains, (animals, not humans)the zombies might join the work force and help dig the rest of the impenetrable defence, before then being asked to sign on for jobseekers allowance, once the job is finished...or... maybe I should just shut up and go to bed. :)

    1. Sorry Miss Lily it has taken an entire day to get round to responding to your comment. . . .BUSY BUSY BUSY..... the Motte and Bailey is not that exciting and has trees and sheep on it and a few chickens (rare bread chickens though).

      Maybe you should do a post Olympic park post (that sounds cool I will say that again

      a Post Olympic Park Post . . . . as someone there on location, the eyes and ears of us RATs in the big smoke.

      I have offered the Zombies all the Brian's they can eat, yes I have offered them The Life of Brian HAH HAHHAHH AHHAH HAHHAH HAH AHH HAh hah hahhah ha hah ah hah aha hah ah ha.

  2. When you mentioned bailey I thought of a former classmate who is almost the half opposite of a motte bailey, his name being Tom Bailey. I checked by google and Facebook but his middle initial does not appear to be the letter E.

    1. Is Tom A small green mound, it would be good if he was, he would blend in very well.

    2. No, I think he must be around 6 ft taLL. His middle initial appears to be L which is half of the shape of E. I just now remembered that he might have married the girl who lived directly north of our house across the street where I last lived with my parents.