Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Einstein’s theory, the bus, the dog and the first law of Molecular Ironic Reaction

As we all know Einstein’s “second law,” m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2 means that stuff happens in life, like the seagulls attacking Mr Jenkins dinner in the park at the weekend and Auntie Karen’s ukulele band playing the O2 arena in London accidently on the wrong date to an audience of the security man and his dog. They both enjoyed it, and tried crowd surfing but with no success    

Anyway this is taking us away from the point which is ironic because Einstein’s second law, m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2 is taking us away from the point, as in the Big Bang. A bit like the School Bus, as the driver often says WHAT’S THE POINT. Someone on the bus will always tell him but he is often distracted as he has to shout at other drivers and wave his fists a lot and make rude gestures at little old grannies in cars, who sort of get in the way by accidently being on the road going to the shops at the same time as the school bus.

The dog decided he would race the school bus to school today as that’s where it goes; which is why it’s called the school bus. The dog told the bus driver he was a rubbish useless driver who drove like a mamby pamby little old lady (The bus driver not the dog). Well that was like a red rag to a bull and we had the fastest ever bus trip to school it was so fast we missed picking up most of the pupils. But as one would expect the dog was already there sat in a comfy chair reading the morning paper, it was a surprise for the driver and he said AAAAAAAAUUUUUuuuuuuggggHHHHh. I think it was the fact the dog had time to get the morning paper from the shop on the way that really upset the driver.

But of course the dog was using my Einstein Cube so the poor old bus driver stood no chance as it took the dog 0.0000 secs. The dog told the bus drive that m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2, and therefore a School bus will always be bigger than a egg and move slower than a dog, it is a basic law of Physics. I am not sure that the bus driver understood a single word of what the dog said and in a classic case of Molecular Ironic Reaction. As the bus driver wandered along the path back to the bus, to drive back to the depot scratching his head a little old lady accidently ran over his foot mistaking him for a bollard (that happens when you wear a day glow orange safety jacket.  

Not many people know that the first law of  Molecular Ironic Reaction was Mrs Einstein’s theory in order to prove to Mr Einstein he was not the only smart Ass. And in another ironic twist of fate the Second law of Molecular Ironic Reaction states that everyone will forget about the first law. Well it just goes to show.

Oooooo by the way just in case anyone was wondering as it happens, not much happened today.

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