Tuesday, 3 May 2011

The Cormorant and the Einstein Cube

Well it was a bit of a shock but school started again today so it was a whole day of Maths, Physics, Geography, Computer Studies, History, Chemistry, Humanities, Latin, Biology, French, Religious Studies and English.  Plus five aside football and a two hundred metre race in the swimming pool. I don’t know about everyone else but it seemed a lot for my first day back.

I was using my Einstein Cube to leap from class to Class and save me walking all over school, when I was talking to one of my friends on the bus going home he said he only did four of the lessons and it took him all day to do them. I think the Einstein Cube must have been doing something odd which might explain why I had three lunch times; that was good Yummy. Anyway I  asked mum and dad about it when I got home but mum said O god no you sound like that ******* Harry potter again ******, dad told mum off for swearing then but she hit him with the armadillo toaster. They were much happier then and said things like that don’t happen in Harry Potter in fact they don’t even have a toaster (I think?)

Pirate Pete is missing his Wood Mouse and is planning to get a new pet. He asked mum about a Cormorant but mum said if he walks around with a Cormorant on his shoulders we are then going to look like a Monty Python script with Mr and Mrs Jenkins peering over the fence shouting a cormorant, a cormorant ??? very loudly while the Cormorant keeps repeating Polly wants a fish cake.

Anyway after a long chat with Pirate Pete we have decided to make this an interactive diary and give you all the opportunity to suggest a new pet for Pirate Pete. Which will be built into the story over the next few weeks or until Pirate Pete gets bored and sells it to the pet shop. If by any chance you are watching the interactive block buster movie please make your choice and press the button NOW. Mum has just said IDIOT.

Fiona Knight                How about a python named pythagorus who is frightened of triangles and talks with a slight lisp in the language of algebra? At least if Pirate Pete was to keep him he would have a lovely scarf for winter.

Paul Nessman               I think that Pirate Pete might benefit from having a pet Houyhnhnm (hwin-im)...but maybe not, as Houyhnhnms are more companions than anything else. I would suggest a pet yahoo, but they are very smelly and vulgar.

You are a very clever man Captain Nessman of the High Seas but like Gulliver you are well travelled and know these things. But alas it would be difficult for a horse to sit on Pirate Pete shoulders and he says he does nay want one. As for a Python Miss Fionaski we are aware of cunning ways of dancing with pythons and although Pirate Pete thinks it is a good idea mum says he would give away too many secrets during the exotic dance of the python. Particularly after a few rums, that’s Pirate Pete not you or the Python. And as dad points out Montgomery (Monty) needs a Python like a hole in the head or a pylon in the valley to end on a more topical note.

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