Poetry for an Escapologist doing Handstands on a Police Car

Delilah was a contortionist 

And an accomplished escapologist 

Who to annoy her Ex-boyfriend

Police Sergeant Jim McDonald Scar

Would do tricks upon the roof

Of his much beloved police car

Much to the amusement of a certain

Miss Salome Bridgewater White

As she was regularly arrested

For being a lady of the night

But she was reputedly or so it was said

A rather good friend

Of a local man of the church

The very reverered

John Samuel Arthur Spiller-Birch

So every morning she would be freed

Because she had seen the light of God

And claimed it was a dusky pink

Which Police Sergeant Jim McDonald Scar

Thought was very odd

But then each morning as he left

To go out on patrol

Delia would be doing handstands

On his roof of his car

And sticking pins in a voodoo doll

And dipping it in hot tar

And when ask why she was so bitter

She explained that at their wedding

He ran off leaving her standing in the aisle

As he said he had villains to catch

And it was going to take a while

Then he discovered

Delilah’s Uncle George

Was making fake money in his garden shed

So Police Sergeant Jim McDonald Scar

Went to see Delilah and said

I will not marry into the criminal classes

So our love affair is

Dead

.

.

.

.

That seems rather hard

And after all Uncle George makes very good fake money