Poetry for Quiz Nights

We are off to a quiz night tonight

In the local Village Hall

To answer many questions

And I will try to answer them all

Like who made Lord Nelsons favourite Hat

And what was the name of Elvis Presley’s Cat

And who invented Sheppard’s Pie

And what is the constant in the equation for the cube of Y

And where did Tom and Jerry live

And what was the present Quasimodo did give

And what was the smallest critter on Noah’s Ark

And how many teeth has the Great White Shark

I know these questions are easy

We all know this stuff

Such as what did the Polynesians use instead of Snuff

And what is the speed of an adult Plaice

And what do you find on a King Penguins face

And how tall is the tallest waterfall in Wales

And what happens when a flimflam fails

And what is the standard width of Britain’s railway track

And how do you get a boomerang back

Why do mice stand on their heads

And who wrote . . . The man who lived in two sheds

And where can you find the polyfinttery spider

And what is the altitude record for a glider

And then half way through we all stop

For food cake and drink

Before it all stats again

And we all need to think

And then at the end the top team gets a prize

Which is something a bit odd and a bit of a surprise

 Like a mummified newt

Or a flock of well trained

House Flies

   

And if you come last you normally get a big jar of jelly babies, which explains a lot about the local Village Quiz Nights and why folk are not too keen on doing too well. Although no one wants to look like they know nothing but then everyone wants the jelly babies, so it’s a battle of wits to the bottom. We have never won or lost, but if our team ever does win  I get to keep all the trained Flies. . . . Now how cool is that.