Monday, 18 May 2015

The journey of a thousand boxes starts with one IKEA Allen Key . . .



Recently I removed half a wall from what will be the kitchen dinning room and then sorted out another wall to put up a row of 2.2 metre high units. While this was happening some other men came and fitted Bi-fold doors on the end wall that replaced a large window. The fitting of the Bi-fold doors resulted in the building of a deck area or it was a bit like falling off a cliff onto the patio. And this has been done by our own friendly magic builder Chris who has done jobs for us for many many years and is rather good.

Then the other day I started the process of building the units, our kitchen is a build it yourself affair from IKEA in a bright gloss red the colour of blood O YES as subtle as you can get. Now I know some of you will be thinking . . . . . You bought a build it yourself kitchen from IKEA are you MAD . . . . .  Well not entirely they can be very cost effective as long as you are chilled with building something that arrives in 128 boxes. I agree 128 boxes is a bit of a scary prospect not helped by only having the receipt as a guide to what is in each box and then having to work out which inside goes with which outside ourselves.

However today I achieved my first milestone on the journey of a thousand boxes (it appears there are small boxes of bits in the big boxes of bits); I completed the carcasses of the four 2.2 metre high units. They are fixed to the wall, locked together, and all the same height as well as being square to the two side walls. This is no mean task in British houses which have a tendency to be slightly wonky, its an old building tradition that goes back to almost the ice age when man first arrived in Britain and bought their first flat pack item from IKEA, a rather posh stone circle at Stonehenge.


One thing I did do was break the first rule in the instruction manual for assembling these units which was do not do this on your own it is dangerous and may result in damage to you or your units. Well I am grumpy and anyway it was a cunning way to save a few pounds, this modernizing your home lark is not cheap so it is good to save where you can. . . I am after all a mean Scotsman. . . .      

6 comments:

  1. I would think that 128 bags of clear plastic would be even scarier than 128 opaque boxes. You would then have to look at aLL the scary things at one time. No gradual terror as you tear open the boxes causing your eyes to tear up. Hahahahaha

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    1. My eyes have been tearing up Mr ESB, but I am on top of things, sort of, a bit.

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    2. No I am OK with almost everything the world can throw at me except banana's I really dont like them one bit.. . . I was missing one small part which I now have so progress will continue.

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  2. Sorry I'm late Mr Z, had a traumatic experience yesterday with the Lil man. But all is well now.

    Ooh glass red.That sounds nice. You are a brave man to attempt such a thing. I almost had a nervous breakdown putting up a book shelf! By the time I assembled a bed, wardrobe and desk for the Lil man, I was damn near certifiable. Good luck in your endeavour.

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    1. NO matter how convincing the Lil man sounds I would avoid letting him try to saw you in half as part of his magic act. Did he watch that Jonathan Strange and Mr ???? thing I thought it was rather good.

      I am OK assembling IKEA things after working in a research lab as a Electro-mechanical engineer for many years. Although it was many many years ago and much has happened since those days, but the old skills still lurk under the surface.

      I was trying to convince Mrs Ghost Writer that a bright yellow Hi-Fi unit and vivid green sofa was a good idea too but she hates yellow

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