Today has been one of those rare days that
we seldom see at present it has been sunny and not windy although there is
still plenty of water about in fields and on the roads and other places where
water would normally not be on mass. I have armed everyone I can with pointy
sticks to protect us from the possible invasion by the Toad People from the
Planet Todimimiun 3. It may well be that tonight will be stage one of their
attack using the cunning tactics of the intelligent intergalactic reptile mind,
you see they plan to use distraction to start with followed by an idea they
have picked up from the classic old 1962 film . . . . . The Day of the Jackal . . . hang on that’s not right I mean the
classic old 1962 film. . . . . The Day of the Triffids. You see tonight is the third and last night
of Stargazing Live where Professor Brian Cox and his sidekick Dara O Briain
who we know are in cahoots with the Toad People from the Planet
Todimimiun 3 because of the Brian connection to
Aliens; (if you are confused you really need to read yesterdays diary
entry) even Briain is almost Brian so enough said me thinks………
You see on stargazing live
there was much talk of the aurora borealis being rather spectacular tonight and
possibly visible from the UK
about midnight. If you all remember it
was the lights that made everyone blind in . . . The Day of the Triffids after
which they were eaten by the Triffids.
All this is far too much
of a coincidence and it should be remembered that Toads and Aliens much prefer
to attack their prey at night. So my advice is if you see the aurora borealis
(due as I said sometime around midnight) then you are likely to be attacked and
eaten by the Toad People of Todimimiun 3, but they are all called Brian so
confuse them first by shouting something like look
out Brian. SIR Patrick Moore is behind you then stab at them with your
pointy stick or hit them with your telescope if all else fails. And remember to wear dark sunglasses if you
do see the aurora borealis, or the Toad People will get you for sure.
Oooooo yes talking of the
foreshore I have a feeling that Toads like the Triffids do not like salt water
so make sure if the alien invasion gets underway to watch the film The Day of
the Triffids, the 1962 one not one of the rubbish remakes that will only
confuse you; and keep a pointy stick handy. . . . .
OK chaps it is every man
for himself so Tally Ho and the best of luck, if all goes to plan we will be
eating toad pie for the rest of the year. . . . . . . . . YUM . . . . . no hang
on YUCK . . .
Good luck Rob. I have already cleared out the ice drawer of my freezer, which I will bunk down in until this is all over. Since toads are cold blooded, they won't be able to stand the temperatures associated with an ice box. Until someone invents a freeze ray, it's the safest place.
ReplyDeleteWhile you are in there you will finally be able to answer the one question man has never been able to answer . . . . . Does the light go out when you close the door. . . . .
DeleteOooooooo that freeze ray I think I have a plan lets put Ray in the Freezer.
I will be stood outside staring up with my mouth wide open waiting for our new overlords to make us their slaves... failing that a quick glimpse of the aurora. One of the few night time wonders I am yet to witness.
ReplyDeleteI have seen it (the aurora) up in the north of Scotland, and I have been out a couple of times tonight, but it is cloudy to the north at present.
DeleteI will be out a bit later as I have to take the cats for a walk at night as they dont like the dark round here due to unknown beasts in the woods....... so I will look skywards when I do......
No I really do have to take the cats out once it is late and dark, there really are beasts of the unknown in the unknown.....
Wow! I reaaaaalllllly want to see it, but it's just started raining so I've come inside to shout at the TV - Question time is on ~ hahahahahahahaha or should that be... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Delete