I am here again today even though I have
almost entirely done nothing, yes Ok I cant actually entirely do nothing partly
because the human body has to do something or it would fall over dead and in
doing so mean it has done something although it would find it hard to write
about in afterwards. And in science the concept of nothing is rather difficult
because even an empty space entirely emptied of air and any loose atoms
floating about is still an empty space and so has substance (although not a
lot).
It may be useful to know that if you are
trapped into a corner by Zombies which quite frankly should not happen, they
are after all a little slow and not the brightest sparks in the bicycle shed.
Yes another old saying from the days of bicycles, rather popular also in China
Anyway as I was saying if you are trapped
in a corner by Zombies don’t panic firmly tell them to SIT and then explain
that as homework they need to tell you all about nothing and how the universe
started from a point of nothing so small that it’s tiny. This is a hard thing
for a Zombie to understand and while they ponder this and look at one another
in a slight panic hoping one of the others might stick their hand up to answer
you calmly walk away and tell them they must write nothing one hundred times
until it sinks in and they get the point (that’s the tiny point that started
all the problems involved with the start of the universe).
OK yes MMMMmmmmmm today; as I said I did not do a
lot but I did buy cheese, eat a bacon butty and posted a letter, carried three
large potatoes and did not look at the fish. I then drank tea, ate some cheese
in a roll, drank some more tea and looked out the window, the last time I did
that the Sparrow Hawk ate a Robin so it was a bit of a worry although this time
it was OK (not for the Robin).
I then when to the
hospital that Mr M was in because he got very friendly with a Mr P and I said I
would go and see Mr P again to make sure he was OK, which he is. Mr P went home
for a day this week for a trial run, but although his house is looking good the
council have managed to ensure he has no hot water so it is being fixed and he
hopes to go home at the end of next week all being well.
I then returned home and
have done a tiny bit of cardboard arty stuff for the grand master plan, a plan
that consists of almost entirely nothing………….
The next time a zombie comes visiting me, I have some handy tips from you, good sir. Or I can just send them to your place.
ReplyDeleteJust send them over here. I will have a chat and explain it is not Brains that they are meant to eat, due to a spelling error in an early novel, but Brian. So its tough on Brian but WELL COOL for the rest of us.
DeleteWhen you say your ate some cheese in a roll, were you performing a roll? if so I can imagine that would rather risky as I would probably drop it on the floor mid-roll and get it all covered in dust.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be able to use the 5 second rule to blow the dust of it, as it takes me more than 5 seconds to get up off the floor these days......
my days of rolling are over Mr H and I too would take more than 5 seconds to get up.
DeleteHowever there was a time I could jump in the air do a forward roll and land back on my feet. I stopped doing this when one time I did not land on my feet, more a case of landing on my back . . . . I gave up skateboarding for much the same reason.