Napoleon Beelzebub came to have tea and fairy cakes this afternoon, he said people will sell their sole for a fairy cake and I should know. When he says I, he means him not me. He is not happy because he made all these plans with the powers that be upstairs about the Middle East and now it’s all going wrong. Someone is going to pay once he gets his hands on them or so he says, I’m glad it’s not me.
He recons things were better in the old days when the goodies wore white hats and the baddies wore black hats; and he would dye himself red and stick on a fancy dress pointy tail and the big man upstairs would do his Santa voice and send a few arc angles to flap about and glow at people (probably not a good move at the moment). But these days the complexity of modern politics means they don’t know what’s going on. He has tried to watch twenty four hour rolling news but it started to do his head in when they showed the same video footage three hundred and sixty two times. In fact he got so irritated he has given a couple of the studio news readers loyalty points, mum said that seemed a bit unfair but he did say he is Beelzebub so being fair is not really what he is known for. He pinched the last fairy cake off my plate then; NOT FAIR, luckily mum says there are more in Pirate Pete’s treasure chest. I think Pirate Pete will let me have a couple as I let him make me walk the plank twice yesterday as he was having a good time, although I don’t think the goldfish were very happy about it.
I asked Mr Beelzebub if I can borrow his pointy tail but he said NO……..NOT FAIR
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