The strimmer the pirate and the shark

It is a strange world because today has been the warmest and sunniest we have had so far this year. Dad has fixed our strimmer because it was not working as it should. It is rather old and held together with bits of wire and stuff but works OK once it works; if that makes any sense. He has taught Pirate Pete how to use it because Pirate Pete has steam powered bionic legs so he won’t hurt himself.

OK Pirate Pete should not have hurt himself but sticking his hand into the end of it to see if it is still working was not a good idea. He said it’s just like the old days at sea trying to tickle shark, we had to point out you tickle trout not shark but he still recons you can tickle shark. He said when they bite your hand you pull your hand out the water really quick and hit the shark on the head, he said it only hurts if they let go and you end up hitting your hand with a big steel club. Mum and dad said IDIOT but he still says he was the best shark catcher on all the pirate ships in all the world. He said it only went slightly wrong when he was using his legs to try and catch a Great White Shark but everything has a silver lining because he has steam powered bionic legs now.

Talking of silver lining dad is lining the cellar with metal and building in a water supply for some reason, I asked him, but he said but he said DON’T ASK. He has attached a Geiger counter to the roof too, I asked about that too but he said DON’T ASK again.  I tried asking mum and she just said it was to avoid us all glowing in the dark, but I think that sounds really cool; she also said you don’t want to end up growing an extra arm or leg do you but as I was thinking about that mum said IDIOT. I don’t know why I didn’t even answer.

Heavy Harry the cat who you would think would be out in the sun has spent the day on a sofa sleeping got up for ten minutes, demanded food, ate it and went back to bed. The dog is well unimpressed with that and is practicing his silly Crufts trot with Mr Jenkins. There is a huge pile of beer cans by the recycling bin. Talking of Crufts the dog got a huge pie from Mrs Jenkins last night and she is making it another one tonight to celebrate the end of pie week that’s well NOT FAIR.