Thursday, 3 March 2016

Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Birds Floating Circus of the Bizarre . . . A review?

Due to the writers (me) new career as a blogging poet it has become necessary for him (me) to sell his soul to the devil and accept a bit of advertising and blatant promotion for money in order to make means meet. Yes even the uncompromising humble poet starving in his rural bungalow (me) with a family and two greedy cats as well as more birds and squirrels that you can shake a stick at to feed, has had to swallow his pride and ethics and turn to the darker side of life. Of course it is for all the right reasons, one should never sell ones soul to the devil for the wrong reasons, which would never do. . . I mean just ask most religions and they would entirely agree, none of them ever sold their souls for trivial things like a new church roof or a night of naughtiness with young Daisy in a posh hotel (Ok they might have done that but we all have our moments of weakness).

Anyway today as part of this blogs new darker side of commercialisation we are reviewing the excellent and extremely popular as well as great value for money . . . . . Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Birds Floating Circus of the Bizarre . . . . . .  A truly excellent day out for all the family, even on a dull and overcast day such as today.

So how was my day at Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Birds Floating Circus of the Bizarre, well it was entirely entertaining as one would expect with its long list of things to see such as Dora the Mud Wrestler who every day round about three fights four crocodiles at the same time in a pit of muddy water. With a somewhat strange blow by blow commentary by Morris the Mynah Bird who enjoys nothing more than insulting visitors and their dress sense, something visitors seem to relish as they record him for YouTube.

I spent much of the morning in the Museum of human curiosities where I saw the mummified head of Frankenstein’s Monster, the missing foot of Long John Silver, one of Count Draculas teeth, the eye of cyclops, the Invisibles Mans intestines and many other strange things.  The highlight of which however must be getting to ask the worlds most un-identical identical twins questions, well you could not meet two identical twins who were so un-identical and both seem to be convinced the other is an imposter. Well they had me convinced and that is for sure

The pick you own meal from the darkened room of the beasts of the night was very popular indeed, I have never seen so many bat burgers being cooked at once and at a modest £5.45 plus fries I would say it was a bargain.

I was also very impressed with the tap dancing squirrels and the synchronized goats whose ice skating was as good as any I have ever seen.

I could go on and on and often do but Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Birds Floating Circus of the Bizarre only pay me £2.50 and gave me a free burger and fries so I warned him he only gets the short review for that.  But if you want a memorable day out, one that will rival anything from Gnome Land to The Museum of Clouds then I recommend a visit.

Prices start at £6.37 for adults, dogs cost £4.00 and children £28.75. . . . Apparently Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Bird is not keen on children as they will learn when they visit the adventure playground with its grumpy Gibbons and Piranha Fish


  1. Professor Charles Purlieus Humming-Bird is not the only one not keen on children. I've got one that he can display in his 'Human Curiosity' feature. He might want one of those Hannibal Lecter masks at hand though.

    1. I think the Lil man would say he is reaching those awkward years when the young mind is awash with confused thoughts about all sorts of stuff. I remember when it happened to me many many many years if not decades ago and I am hoping it is just a passing phase although the general state of the world probably confuses me more than ever . . . . Along with cats, other people, technology and folk driving on the road in weird ways. And cafes, were have all the everyday ordinary cafes gone, very odd