Monday, 18 January 2016

Poetry for Cold Days

It’s feeling jolly cold today
Dull and boring and somewhat grey
And although I discussed weather yesterday
It’s very nasty and will not go away
OK yes this is the British Isles
And it is not really that common
To see the sun or the suns big shining smiles
So I have drawn one in my bathroom
With crayons, on the bathroom tiles
You see every year in the winter time
About this time of year
I go a little mad you know
And people point and say O DEAR
Yes when I go out, I stagger about
With a sleeping bag wrapped around my head
And fifteen pairs of thermal pants
Of which twelve are always red
And I gaffer tape a pair of cats to my hands
Which I prefer to using gloves
Because when I wave my arms about
I can easily catch lots and lots of doves
And I’ll strip off all their feathers
And stick them all in my shirt . . . (the feathers not the doves)
Which although a little itchy
Really does not hurt
And people point and laugh and say . . . I'm a fool
As mad as a hatter who has totally lost his cool
But I am warm and cosy
With insulating slugs covering my face
While they are all shivering
By a log fire in some Café . . . some place

Probably the one that banned me for being covered in slugs and dropping Dove feathers on their cakes while attempting to cut a hot buttered scone in half with limited vision due to a sleeping bag being wrapped round my head. Apparently they said its not normal, well it is in our house. . . . . OK I Have been told it is not normal in our house either and I have to go and sit in a cold shed. . . . Just as well I'm wrapped up warm is all I can say . . . . . . DAMN I swallowed a Slug. 

Farewell Eagles founder and Guitarist Glenn Frey


  1. We have a bar soap here called 'Dove'. Hopefully it is not made of doves.

    1. We have Dove soap too. . . . I think it is made with pigeons because they produce more bubbles than doves and are cheaper

  2. It's so cold, I just peed an icicle.

    RIP Glenn Frey. Lil man has been playing Hotel California on a loop for hours. Surely sitting on a loop can't be that comfortable?

    1. Where David Bowie was a showman the Eagles were serious musicians although I did get more into Steely Dan . . . I suspect we are all in loops only we dont know it

      Yo Mr ESB