Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Stanley Stumbledore . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Stanley Stumbledore.

A chemist who spent many years working on the process of Alchemy, but not with a great deal of luck. However he was never downhearted by his failure because he saw it all as part of his quest for knowledge. A knowledge that led him to become the leading authority on symbiotic substances. Now everyone knows that the best symbiotic substances have at their core a large open crystalline structure allowing it to fill with tiny particles in the symbiotic process. And it was this process that led to a piece of brilliant lateral thinking, because Stanley Stumbledore’s castle was at risk of falling into the sea due to coastal erosion.

The sea is a powerful force and if you simply build a wall the sea will quickly destroy it but if you build an open crystalline structure the force will be defused and the structure will survive stopping the erosion; eventually filling the spaces with sand creating a natural environment for small sea critters and the like.  So it was; that the Stanley Stumbledore Shore Star was created which varied in size from about six feet in diameter to fifteen feet in diameter.  The Victorians loved the sea and were keen to control its power and eat ice cream while paddling about in suitable swimwear. So the eradication of coastal erosion was seen as an important step in mans authority over nature. As the Rev Oscar Overlap Oppenheimer would often tell his congregation on cold wet Sundays.

Sadly Stanley Stumbledore as with many Victorian inventors became delusional and thought that he could command the sea purely by standing in front of it. So one very stormy night encouraged by Rev Oscar Overlap Oppenheimer (who was keen to prove that man could master nature); Mr Stumbldore ventured onto the beach where he was promptly swept out to sea.   The  Rev Oscar Overlap Oppenheimer told the shocked watching crowd it was penance as Stanley Stumbledore had obviously been eating ice cream and wearing a bathing suit, both clearly the work of the devil.

Interestingly a group of fishermen who arrived back in port a few hours later said they had seen two men emerge from a cave and save Stanley Stumbledore as he was being dashed on the rocks. One of the men a strange green colour with mad hair and wearing a ripped shirt while the other kept shouting well known left wing protest chants. They also claimed to have seen a man dressed as a penguin with a bicycle wheel on his head running along the cliff top, so folk just said they had been drinking moonshine after a good catch of mackerel and herrings.

Stanley Stumbledore was never seen again though, although you do sometimes see large concrete star shaped coastal defences in small Victorian towns. 


  1. Hello Again

    Oooooo hello I was not expecting you.

    I know.

    I hope you realize that folk will think you are mad commenting on your own blog, and then to make it worse you are talking to yourself at the same time.

    Well strictly speaking I am typing to myself.

    And that means you are not mad does it.

    Well not very mad.

    I'm not sure I agree.

    Surely that makes you look even more mad, at least we should agree on stuff.

    OK I guess you are right.

    I knew I was.

    Ooooooo look a Penguin.

    Stop it and behave and take that bicycle wheel off your head.

    Sorry. HAH HAha ha hah a haha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahah ha ha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha

    1. Here is something even stranger than you commenting about you. I discovered today that several organizations make fake moon and Mars soils for research purposes.

    2. That is rather strange, but it does save a lot of travelling. I wonder exactly what research they are doing.

    3. I s'ppose they want Martianesque soil to practice things like Does My Rover Rove and Does My Digger Dig. The soil is from a particular volcano in Hawaii and they have 16,000 pounds available.

    4. Does this mean that Mars is in fact a fake Hawaii.

    5. I don't know about 'in fact', but I wiLL say, "YES!!!!" just to keep things stirred up. A fake Mars would be a real Hawaii. Some year centuries from now children on Mars will be able to get fake Mars soil from the extinct life-less Earth and it wiLL be a favorite for birthday present, especially for those children living near the equator of Mars that is near the designated point "Equal To Earth's Longitude & Latitude Point of Hawaii".

    6. I also learned today that there are video recorded of Martian Dust Devils. Amazing.

    7. Martian Dust Devils . . . I knew there were aliens on Mars. . . . :)

    8. Ali-ens -> the Italian word for wings is ali.

    9. Wings will be turning up on Monday as part of the letter W, so will the Wrong brother?

  2. If I thought you were a boozer Mr Z, that's a man who drinks booze and not the pub boozer, then I would think that you had been at the moonshine yourself.
    Now I have a hankering for Mackerel.

    1. I am a tea drinker mainly sometimes a Cocoa made with full cream milk if times are tough, but not alcohol. I am not a fan of it these days.

      Mackerel is a good healthy fish to eat . . . . But you are a veggie Miss Lily and I would assume that you would not eat the beasts of the sea.