Zero Zephaniah Zephyr. . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Zero Zephaniah Zephyr

It was quite plain even in the life time of Zero Zephaniah Zephyr that he was stark staring mad despite his great skills in engineering and biology.  After years of studying the human form he became convinced he could make a superhuman or as he liked to call it a superhero.  He was so convinced that he could make a man that could live for ever with extraordinary powers that he set about using his own body for the experiment, slowly replacing parts with new more powerful electro-mechanical parts. There was no denying his skill as a surgeon, it is far from easy to replace your own arms and legs and ensure that the new super limbs function correctly. However once he decided to replace all his organs and transfer his brain to a new super skull to make him indestructible he needed help.

This was his eventual downfall because the only people who had conducted this sort of surgery were Professor Venomous Voldemort and his new colleague Professor Frankenstein. They were keen to help, but neither of them were tidy professors and the brain of Zero Zephaniah Zephyr got misplaced among Professor Venomous Voldemort’s own experiments with the brains of cats. So it was a shock when the world learnt that Professor Venomous Voldemort’s intelligent machine, the Voldemort Valuator Device contained the brain of Zero Zephaniah Zephyr. Worse still the new Electro-Mechanical Super Hero Zero Zephaniah Zephyr with an expected life of at least 1000 years had the brain of Mr Quinton Quantum-Quizzical’s cat called Quantum.

Zero Zephaniah Zephyr or as he liked to be know Fluffy was last seen by an angry mob holding fiery torches. He was said to be chasing a very large rat through the woods surrounding a large central European castle, where the angry mob were keen to have words with the two professors.

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Back at the Preposterous Club of Great Britain A voice suddenly rings out . . . And that gentlemen concludes my new book The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers. . . .  A loud bang as the hard cover of the illuminated volume snaps closed awakening up several of the elderly inventors with a sudden start?  One of which Dr David Danister brushing greenish sulphur from his ripped shirt replying . . . Excuse me but I think you will find that myself and Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt were not lost forever underground and we emerged fit and well only a few months later. . . .

Well it is OK for you too added Edmond Eccles but according to this book I die when in fact I was released early for good behaviour and besides Esmeralda was only stunned and then ran off with a man dressed as a penguin.

Then before anyone else can say a thing, a terrible sound could be heard at the main door of the Preposterous Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MMMMMmmmmmmmmeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwww .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .  O my god shouts a very panicky Professor Venomous Voldemort, its that monster the cat, known to us all as Fluffy sorry I mean Zero Zephaniah Zephyr. . . . Its come to Kill us all for what happened.

End of Part One (Part two to follow in a few days time)