Saturday, 16 November 2013

The Demise of the Zombie and Faulty Small Birds

I did my good deed today I put my head down into the sewage system to work out what was going on as I said I would in my moment of rashness yesterday. My first thought was that an enterprising Zombie may have been trying to sneak through some of the outer perimeter Zombie defence systems, but not everyone in the village is convinced that Zombies even exist. Something of a shock really as tiny rural villages in the hills are really the last place Zombies have to lurk about and scare folk, once they are doomed to disbelieve here then their end is nigh. Well I guess that would save me a lot of digging, but all the same . . . .

Of course I blame modern film making techniques with all their fancy computer generated graphics where they are so keen to make it  look real (plastic) that it ruins a good Zombie or Vampire. It maybe OK for that Luke Spywalker and all his infinity and beyond but the scariest monsters in the movies are the old ones using real stuff and a bit of mud and gore. Anyway it’s the thin edge of the wedge because once folk don’t believe in Zombies, Vampires and banshees, the next step is fairies, elves and Santa and garden gnomes consigned to the skip.

AH yes I got distracted it appears the sewer system may be suffering from an inadequate fall in pipe work as far as I can tell, but then I only go down them to search for Zombies and look what has happened to them.

I also attempted to continue making small birds but I was trying something slightly new and it did not entirely work as planned.  Yet another shock, I know I have never tried this idea before but as the greatest maker of cardboard sculpture in the world the discovery that a new idea does not work first time is a serious blow to my street credibility and therefore it is best I do not tell you about it or photograph a faulty small bird . . . . . . . .AH DAMN.


  1. Somehow, I can't eXplain, your blog post made me think of the poem Sea Fever. Perhaps I was thinking, I must go down to the sewer pipes again, but I have never been muck of a plumber. Oooh, sorry, that was s'pposed to be much of a plumber. Cooper and I have moved while my wife takes care of my son's dog who is tiny and incompatible with Cooper. It looks like we wiLL be gone for about 10 more days then things should get back to normal. I am finaLLy doing my first large order of embroidering logos on caps but it has been a nightmare dealing with metallic thread. But I am slowly getting things figured out and figured in.

    1. Interesting bird you have there

    2. Ah yes I am aware that the thread can be the make or break (no pun intended) of embroidery machines, some work a treat others cause hours of pain and anguish. It is much the same with printing some paper is great and others rubbish. I guess this is where time and experience start to tell, in a couple of years time Mr ESB you will look at threads and say things like. . . . . . . . . AH the cotton content in this metalic gold is 15% higher than ideal I will have to adjust the tension by 8% on the bobbin feed or use the other make of black.

      I was not happy with the bird, I am having to use some PVA to complete them as I had planned but water based glues and thin card are not entirely happy together. I need to increase the card thickness by 33% and reduce the water content of the glue by 25% or move to plan C

    3. I have not used PVA before but maybe my wife has. We are doing a huge amount of cleaning and rearranging today so that my son can move into our old house. At least I got a dedicated new shop area in a different building and I had already set up a nicer artist studio downtown, so most everything is going smoothly according to plan. Well, I must stop hiding and get back to work.