Sunday, 8 September 2013

Moving things and 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 of everything

The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor (volume three and three quarters) continues for now because of things that are beyond my control, and as it happens almost 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 of everything in the universe that happens is out of my control. Meaning this is in fact the normality for myself; and everyone else.

Yesterday I was unable to write my diary because of the day’s events which involved the tweaking of various things for a wedding party for Mr S and Mrs I.  It was a bit blustery and there is nothing more annoying that having a party and then a large gust of wind running off with your marquee, lights, tables and chairs. Actually the marquee, table and chairs belong to the village, but residents have access to them which is a cool idea in a small village. As for the lights well one thing we do have in abundance is fairy lights.

So yesterday afternoon and early evening we had a very chilled and happy wedding party in the garden where folk smiled and ate food, looked for apples, and pretended they were Michael Jackson disguised as Spiderman. While the Ghost Writer tried to put on inappropriate music for folk to listen too such as the Tiger Lillies singing naughty songs.

Today Mr S, Mrs I and Mr K came to help dismantle everything as the Marquee is off to pastures new in a few days, so we all whizzed about and left the garden such that no one would ever know of yesterday’s events.  And I am quickly writing my diary as we will be off out shortly to move other things for other people . . . . . So as I have said before I WILL RETURN SOON….  

I AM BACK . . . . . . Yes I have returned having moved stuff, it makes me realize that I would be much happier as a hunter gatherer like in the iron-age or before, because back then you got to chase animals with a pointy stick, make a fire, eat the animal and a few berries, paint the odd picture on a cave wall, and then move on to a new spot. Life was simple and did not involve a myriad of complexities involving moving stuff. OK yes I do like stuff, ask those who know me and they will say Oooooooo that Rob has stuff with stuff in it and loads of it, but the key point to my stuff is it does not move about. Ok some of it does which explains why I can’t always find it, but when it is your own stuff it is psychologically lighter and easier to move that doing it for other folk. Back in the pre iron-age I would have just waved mu pointy stick at the other folk grunted and made rude gestures  . . . . . . . . AH hang on I still do that . . . . . . DAMN.

I took pictures of the marquee in the dark last night, but by then all the folk had run off, and a post marquee picture to show that all is as if nothing happened, so that passing swallows heading South will be unaware of how far I have evolved from being a iron-age man…….



  1. I did some math and computer Al Gore Rhythms and I think the number is closer to 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999994 if you include the schizophrenic people and psychics properly allocated for daytime events.

    Everyone talks about their volume of work, and now I am curious about surface area. If I measured your blog using my 46 inch teleBision screen, that I use for a computer monitor for my PC, it might be a rather large number of square feet. This most recent blog post covers about two screen's worth of space, so that might be about 2,000 sq inches per blog post. So if you multiply that by 3 years and conservatively chop it down to 75% of that number, then maybe your blog covers at least 1.6 million square inches.

    1. I never realized my blog was that big. Maybe I should print it out and then I could walk up and down it proudly.

    2. Now that you mentioned walking on it, I imagined having your blog projected onto a screen that is the surface people run on a treadmill. As the people run it scrolls down through your blog. I would name this invention the iPlod.

      Another thing to do would be to calculate how big the writing would be if you scaled your writing up in size to cover the landmass of the earth. Or maybe the unused part of Australia.

  2. I bet even cavemen had stuff they didn't need, some nice shiny leaves or something.

    1. Ironically I picked some shiny leaves yesterday which are on the dinning table. I was curious about what tree it was, it turned out to be a Sweet chestnut tree.

      Cave men were the first to tell that old joke . . . . Leaves dont grow on trees you know......

      Those Cave men were a bit elitist too as they had their own private clubs . . . . . . HAH HAHAH HAHHAHH AH HAh ah ah h hh ha hah ah ah hah ah hah ah haah a hah ah ahha hah ahah ah