Friday, 26 October 2012
The imminent return of the curse of Halloween and the edges of Op Art
I have noticed in the wonderful world of cyberspace there is a definite increase in Halloween related things and as someone who has many dealing with banshees and zombies vampires and the like you would think I was a great fan of Halloween, but it is not entirely true. You see I am deep down a bit of a kill joy, nothing wrong with that I hear you say, after all she is a mutant alien being who drinks the blood a small cute things and scares small children so killing Joy is OK. But we need to look at Halloween a bit closer; in the UK it is a one night event a sort of short sharp shock approach as attempted by the police a few years ago and then it is all over; in the USA is a far grander event and appears to last much longer and can be far more elaborate. There is however a core element that is intertwined into the fabric of both nations, and that is annoying children turning up at your door saying trick or treat and expecting money, sweets and toffee apples. NO not cute. . . . . . It is very annoying, me and the dog demand a trick and so far no one has produced a good one over the years.
Last year our only trick or treaters were the Spanish Inquisition OK well they looked like the Spanish Inquisition, they did not seem to know who the Spanish Inquisition were, and they did not appreciate getting a decomposing armadillo as a treat in fact they ran away screaming although that might have been the bucket of eyes that did that. The dog had even filled it with sugar mice and jellied babies, that’s the decomposing Armadillo not the bucket of eyes that would be silly. But the key fact again was they were rubbish at tricks (not the armadillo or eyes I refer to the Spanish Inquisition). So this year on Halloween me and the dog are planning to eat all the trick or treat arrivals in a huge spicy pie YUM, it is what the Zombies will want us to do, and after all it is their special night we need to be respectful.
OK what happened today I was painting a line OK an edge but an edge sort of forms a line, I have painted edges before in fact I am rather good at it and would have made a great op artist back in the day when op art was rather fashionable. These days op art is not fashionable so the skill of painting an edge is of limited use I tend to find I am asked to paint things like the top of walls where it meets the ceiling and similar things, you see . . . . so much talent used for such a task as the edge of walls.
I also had to fix a door to make sure it locks correctly as the person is concerned they might have trouble with zombies next week trying to get their toffee apples and sweets and small children with white sheets on their heads that look just like small children with white sheets on their heads going wooooooo wooooooo I want my mummy will attempt to sneak in and run away with humbugs (sorry I mean humming bugs).
I also got to move a pile of rotten wood today that is very rotten (the wood not the task), so that was fun well OK not fun OK it was rotten.
I have pizza for tea and Meringue, ice cream and walnuts for pud so YUM.