Tuesday, 2 October 2012
The anomalies of the British class structure, a ferret and a power drill
Sometimes life throws up little things that under normal circumstances you don’t notice, today was such a day as the school slowly arranges things for the forthcoming school trips. There I was with Freddie and his ferret trying to dry out Esmeraldas damp electro-mechanics (it rained today loads) when Young Tarquin, Octavia, Peaches and Fabien stopped to see how things were going in preparation for the Journey to the Centre of the Earth. I said we have all been supplied with a genuine all plastic mac that folds up to the size of a mouse in case we meet undergrounds waterfalls and the like, and a set of billy cans made of Aluminium including the mug, I hate tin mugs they always get hot burn your lips when you fill them with hot tea.
They were saying they are going on the skiing trip to the Swiss Alps and have been to inspect the luxury air conditioned coach to ensure it is adequate for the trip. And Octavia’s daddy has insisted on first class cabins on the ferry, so the headmaster has sorted that out. Peaches has also had a word with her personal ski instructor in San Moritz and he will pop over to help teach the pupils.
We get to walk to the entrance tunnel and have been excused school uniform while on the open road on grounds that we are a scruffy bunch and a bad image for the schools new academy status. Come to think about it I don’t remember seeing when Young Tarquin, Octavia, Peaches and Fabien before we became an academy and I’m sure they are the only ones wearing straw hats with their school uniform, well them and the headmaster and Jasper. Anyway they started to tell Esmeralda that Jasper’s father is sending the family cook on the trip to ensure that the food is up to scratch, which is strange because we said we were taking packets of pork scratching also. They then made the mistake of trying to explain the difference between pork scratching and gourmet cuisine but about half way through the explanation Esmeralda fitted her interchangeable easy clip on power drill attachment, so poor old Tarquin may require a bit of physiotherapy before he ski’s or he is going to go round in circles. Esmeralda goes round in circles at times, but sadly does not have a personal physiotherapist so is dependent on the one at the vet after she attacked the local hospital receptionist who tried to explain she was forth in the list but it might be a few hours before she was seen.
According to the geography teacher all this class structure will melt away when we reach the centre of the Earth and fame and glory will follow because if there is one thing greater than class its celebrity. Trouble is the geography teacher is stark staring mad although he does sound a bit like the Lemmings of Petrograd at times……