Saturday, 13 October 2012
I HAVE RETURNED . . . . . . . so be afraid
Well I have returned to the surface after an interesting Journey to the centre of the Earth, well almost the centre of the Earth it was not exactly as we planned things at school but it has been very interesting. It was a bit of a shame that some of the younger members of the school party were sacrificed, but the light show was excellent and it was their own fault for looking for Santa instead of remaining focused on the quest at hand.
So I have seen many things and meticulously recorded it all for posterity, well when I say meticulously I mean I sort of scribbled notes at the end of the day on parchment paper and sweet wrappers. This was due to a lack of appropriate available technology to hand, so it means I will need to write up the events so that the world will know of our adventures, when I say write up I of course refer to the Ghost Writer; he will need to write it all up because he is the Ghost Write, it is his job. Actually it is not his real job as in do work get paid; it is his do work then grumble that he has done all the work and did not get paid. I have said once I am rich and famous I will pay him then . . . . . maybe
Our return trip had to be done all in one go what with the trouble with the strange subterranean native tribe who went from all friendly (OK there was the sacrifice) to not friendly and chasing us with rocks and squishy sea creatures. So we have travelled many hundreds of miles today all up hill to reach the surface of planet Earth and the light of the sun rather than the unnatural light of a huge subterranean cavern complex lit by luminous algae on the cavern ceiling. Yes yes it did look a bit like the sky but I can assure you this was many hundreds of miles underground.
The dog is pleased to see me, he had a bet with dad that I would return alive so he has won, dad is a bit disappointed as he said my bedroom would have made a great office and he now owes the dog five hundred pounds. He does blame the headmaster however as he had told dad that Professor Hardwigg was totally mad and it was a dead cert we would all end up dead.
It also appears that the farmers have got wind of the cows tunnelling exploits and are planning to fill them all in tomorrow. Interestingly it appears it was dad that told the farmers a few days ago and he was really keen that they got on with it. He even offered to split his winning with them from his bet with the dog, but it appears it has been too wet in the last couple of days to do it.
Oooooo I forgot to mention I had a stowaway in my bag, it was the chicken, like all chickens he is a great lover of a good adventure.
Away I am BACK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . HAH HAHAHH HAH HHAH hah ah hah ahhah hahahah so be afraid very afraid . . . . . . . . . . . ..