Friday, 23 September 2011

The Ghost of Steven Spielberg's biography and a Spider deep fried in batter with a sugar cage and caviar

Our world in the far reaches of cyberspace is changing. Its all that Mark Zuckerberg’s fault what with the changes he is making to his empire in the cyber wars with Google+. And then there is the impending house move which will radically effect or porthole between cyberspace and the real world. The dog says this is the way of life, it changes and often we have no control over such things.

Anyway the result of this in school today was the teachers spent most of the morning rubbing the nose of the  bronze bust of Samuel Taylor Coleridge and keeping their fingers crossed which meant I could hardly read anything on the blackboard. It is not easy to write on a blackboard holding chalk with your fingers crossed, I even tried it myself but it said sgs wpituiwt iuwetiitiu  kjiweriuiu34iutiurewt kghjdfahgfahe jgsdjg;g and I couldn’t read that either.

After school when I got home I found The Ghost of Steven Spielberg sitting in the garden playing chess with the dog, The dog plays in Latin and always beats me so I refuse to play now as its £10:00 for each piece lost and winner takes all so it can cost me loads.

The Ghost of Steven Spielberg says he was getting bored in the wood so thought he would come and see us.  He said the Ghost Writer was doing such a good job turning me into a book that he thought he would get him to write his biography. A ghost writing about a ghost rather appealed to The Ghost of Steven Spielberg, the only thing is because he is a ghost he has no money so the Ghost Writer will get no money.  But that’s OK the Ghost Writer is used to getting no money and he would only spend it on food and fuel for the car and heating etc, silly man.

We are still packing stuff up and clearing rubbish for the proposed move of house. It is amazing just how much stuff you can squeeze into a house in twenty years; so I helping a bit before we go off to Big Bill’s Greasy Fur Ball Café for a meal; mum and dad say I have to help clear or sit in the car park tonight until they have eaten, mmmmmmmm that’s NOT FAIR. I have just found some stuff from the last people who lived in the house so we must be getting near the end of it all. Mum just said IDIOT and the dog is rolling about in Hysterics so maybe not.

I do know one thing there’s still a lot of in the house; and that is spiders. We have always liked spiders although the big ones have to watch out or Heavy Harry the Cat and Sooty the Cat will try and eat them if they scurry across the floor. The dog says the cats have no manners or class, and if you must eat a spider it should be deep fried in batter with a sugar cage and caviar, and eaten with a 1989 Romanée-Conti.


  1. Deep fried arachnid in batter with a sugar cage and caviar, is a delicacy in my part of the East End.

    Unfortunately, things are not all 'good in the hood.' There appears to be an outbreak of vomiting and bum clenching action occurring recently...funny, happened right around the introduction of deep fried spiders in batter with a sugar cage and caviar...

    Yeah I know...IDIOT!

  2. This is food best left for the dogs