Thursday, 11 August 2011

The mass hysteria of looters, Poundland and truffle hunting

Dads friend Benny Neckbender came to see dad today; he is very upset about the looting in all the big cities and was complaining that it is difficult enough for a decent honest criminal to make a living in the present economical climate without a lot of teenage gangs in a state of mass hysteria running about nicking everything and anything and smashing up all the shops.
 In the old days he could go to the pub and quietly flog a nice 48inch Plasma television for a few readies to a man from the market who would have a friend who would shift it about a bit and everyone was happy. Today he was visiting a man about a dog up in the smoke (The Great Metropolis) and they walked past a skip full of Plasma televisions that no one wanted. And he said they even looted Poundland? He was well unhappy with that he said it gives crime a bad name when people loot places like Poundland, he said even shop lifters sneak things back in and leave them on the display shelf having removed them from their poor old mums flat, because she is 93 and has lost the plot. Apparently mad little old ladies who have lost the plot like to buy stuff in Poundland for a pound, and were it not for the fact the CCTV showed gangs of youth running up and down the road Benny would have been convinced it was a gang of grannies that looted the shop chain.

Jim went to the woods today as the dog had offered to act as a sniffer dog and show him things and animals that no one has seen before, but for substantial fee up front in cash. I’m sure Jim would never have fallen into that trap in the old days, but he is very focused on his wildlife movie. They were away until quite late and the dog came back very bouncy and happy, he said he found some really scary things that no one had ever seen before and that some of them even ate one of the film crew when Jim tried to do a close up shot to show how big their teeth were. Jim said it was not nice but great action for the movie.

Me, Mercedes and Rusty the Robot Dog spent the day in the park trying find truffles, I did suggest the sweet shop but Mercedes said IDIOT; At least is was not mum. Sadly Rusty the Robot Dog might be able to speak Latin but his ability at finding truffles is rubbish although he did find twenty five pounds worth of scrap copper pipe. He said it was scrap, although the huge plume of water in the ornamental garden was not there when we arrived, so we left then sort of quickly and went home via the scrap yard. Benny said NICE and has asked to borrow Rusty.  

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