The famous quotations of ordinary people. Rain and Frogs

I keep missing words and making spelling mistakes at present well OK most of the time really but after a spell of not being quite so bad I seem to have got worse again. I am very sorry about that. Today has been very noisy at the house, a gang of men turned up and dug up a driveway opposite us and parked their tractor and trailer across the bottom of our driveway much to the irritation of mum and dad.

Anyway we have got round the problems and I took my voodoo lucky charm with the shrunken head and showed it to the men doing the work and told them if they didn’t stop working and went away that they would all be washed away by torrents of rain and large frogs. The men doing the work all laughed and carried on blocking us in, well up until the torrential rain started and large frogs started leaping at them, which forced them into a tactical retreat; (that’s the workmen not the frogs, frogs never make tactical retreats). Dad said they looked as organised as cross-eyed moorhens PLAYING A game dominos against Aligators. Anyway they are gone now, much like the moorhens.

Darren the Boiler Man also came today to service the boiler which he has done for years now ever since I was as Auntie Karen would say KNEE HIGH TO A KNEE. She also says the Grimble-Spin is a full width wider that the doorway, mark my words young Rob. And the spirit level is three rums south of thirty degrees, I think Captain Nessman may have told her that one.

Darren did his bit and left, he said he had a wheel to attach to a car for a man who was grass track racing it tomorrow, as the wheel fell of yesterday when someone was stress testing the car and applied just a bit too much stress. As he said the point of no return is the point when you need to return or the wood shed will be empty for winter. Darren always says that when the wheels fall off cars.

It’s been a long holiday.  Well it feels like it and me and Mercedes said to mum we are bored now but we both ran away very fast before mum could throw stuff at us. I could hear mum saying the Statue sings but the pigeons still sit on its head and ********. Captain Flint added pieces of eight, where are my Brazil nuts and the dog said  quidquid excusatio prandium pro.  Mum has just said the IDIOT runs in circles on the high wire. I tried that once but I fell off.